"...So he decided he'd use Waterfall but THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING, BUT NOT NOW..."
What Not Another One
"What Not Another One" is the 5th story of book one. It is longer , and has more stupid bull crap, but I think it is better in terms of storytelling. I consider this one to be the best of all 5 stories.
This one takes place before Bagel Fish-Car-Foot, in which The Guy and The Other Guy go to school, and meet several other characters. One of these new "friends" attempts to terrorise the school and the entire world, and it is up to everyone to stop it.
FUN FACTS:
In the Word version, this Story has 20 pages with 12,308 words.
This was written during a 6-day Internet drought.
This one takes place before Bagel Fish-Car-Foot, in which The Guy and The Other Guy go to school, and meet several other characters. One of these new "friends" attempts to terrorise the school and the entire world, and it is up to everyone to stop it.
FUN FACTS:
In the Word version, this Story has 20 pages with 12,308 words.
This was written during a 6-day Internet drought.
What Not Another One
(Bagel Fish-Car-Foot 5 or something I'm not too sure)
NOTES FOR THE SAKE OF THE GOD DING-DANG STORY:
Why are you reading this?
Synopsis: Thsid book is abuto the advants of the two guys: The Guy and The Other Guy at their school. Stuff happe . the end.
CHAPTERE 1- One
Ok well I think I will make this book part being made back in the time the has we're good times at like 1 years before the fist book I have a eat in the oven. This was when The Guy and The Other Guy were having the goes of to their stupid school thing that where they learned that they were having new stuff and things I think this is the longest run-on sentence in the world. It was 62:04 or also 62:11 when the two guys have the start go to school. They had to go to )(-;&;th grade and that was it because only one weak of schol was need. WOW ONE WEAK THAT IS AM AZDING!!
Whatever so on the mourning on the date of scal, The Guy got all his scoadl supplie. It comprised of a pensil and a papr and a eraszr and ah pen and a thing that you hold all the crap on in an bag with on your back. Then @t 9627:6666666 o'clock, he teleportaaaaaaaed to the salrco.
Then The Other Guy had to geaat red E as wel. He brougat the same crap as The Guy did but he actually 8 BREAKFZAT. Also were he cannot telepprrnrot... No he can run at the speed of sound got no place to go got to follow my rainbow.
CHALETRR 2- Scaloll
Oh no it is schawdl time. At schawl, The Guy found The Other Guy and they has to go to the calffeteridiarhea as long eith the other stud ants there as welled. They all had to being sit there for about 3;56 sec dollars. The. Suddenly the price of pal came and talked to the syduadants. Oh hi iOS 9.0.1.
He said "Welcome to Quillsde School. I am princpal Ddrrr. Today I all tell you some crap about the stupid flipping school..." And he went on for 6 seconds abou the school and then he told everythonresr to go to 1zt perdoitodsr.
At 1si PeAaaA, the two guys went to their Enghasih class be issue they speek Inglish. The techer saif, "Hela and wel ad to the Inglish clas that you are be in today I iam the techr Mr.Wtd." Wtd went over to the first desk and said to the boy person sitting therr "what is yer nae?" The person boy guy thing said "my nam is Jeer." Wtd asked Jeer what he dis and he said he dos Apple Sauce Simulation at Water Baords with The Gum that Has Many Flavours. Wtd gave him 6,;€ cash dollars.
"OH BOY WOW LOOK ATBTHE MAONOAY YAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" And then he got thrown out the class beCAUSE YOU CANT SCREEM.Then wtd went to The Guy and asked him his name and he said that his name is The Guy and then Wtd as him w he name was and The Guy said that he Drinks Many Dagwood Trees When The Moon is Not Full but is Actually IMAX THEATER. Oh crap he realised that is an illeagal activity BUT WTD IS TOO DUMB AD DIDNT DSYANYTHING. Same this to The Other Guy but he said he Does Nothing but Eat and Llay Gideo Vames and Chews Bubble Gum but He's All Outta Gum. Wtd threw a fit because he wanted to to that and so he threew himself out the window.
Wow what a nice firzt perdio.
CHALTER 3- What are You TaLK Ing abOUT?
So now it is Secadond perawdd mainly because the teacher threw himself out the windo. So now they had to g to Maff class. It was Teacher named Ms.maTh. She gave them 4 pages of homework that made them have to describe the length between Apple and Aggrandisement without using the words the,and,or,but,for,when, or any word starting with E.
A studant in the backrow named Lloyd said "What the heck man this makes no ¢, why we have to do this?" And Ms.maTh got mad and hit Lloyd with a Caculator. It was chewy. The Other Guy did the homework at schooa in 3 min and it was A+ work,son. How he do that. He didn't because he has Cheat Codes. Of course. However The Guy couldn't do it at all and we punished for about 6 dates and couldn't have any food. He threew a fit and fell out the window. But he didn't die like Mr.Wtd. Oh by the way, wtd died. But any ways after ms.maTh did that she also told
The kids about The Stuff that No One Wants to Hear because it is Trivial and Annoyng and I Hate Typing Like This. She went on for 42 hours about this. Then it was 3dr Perdaiowd.
CHAPTER 4- gOD DanG IT
On thrad Persaaaaqadodkdgodihatecats the guys had HisStory. They had Mr.Dingus. Dingus got all the kids names and they told him their occupation and their name and also their net worth with Dinner. And then Dingus told them his story because it's His Story class, not your story or Her story or their story or Cave Story. Lloyd was there. He asked Dingus," Hey what are we gonna be do here in the class." And Dingus threew a fit and fell up the window. Then he said "YOU WILL LISTEN TO MY STORY AND THEN I WILL TEST YOU ON IT!!¡$" and the LEEEROOOOOOY...JEEENKEEEENNNNNS!!!!!!!
And the all the studawlts groaned loudly and fell out their chairs. A studar named Wes banged his head against the drsk. Like 6 times in a row hard. He didn't die though he was ok. But not really because everyday after that he had the lroblems with the thinking and the speaking and the cherry Coke. So then Dingus told them all about his 4 year old self:
"I had to go to the beach and I saw a person and she fell in the water and I went to go get her but she has no face and I was scared and then I pass out. When I saw the light I saw that my momher had taken her to the hosPITal and was everything good well and Okay."
Then he gave them a 4 hour quiz on the Solar System.
CHALQQQQTEER 5- Bagel Diner 64
It was forsath pedio and the guys had Sciends class. Ms.H was the teach. She said that this was scie class and that they were gonna learn stuff about space and rocks and planets and gravity and mint. As a test she ask the stufsrfs if they knew what Larlarlarlarlars where. They didn't know, so she also threw a half-fit and half threew herself out the windwo.
Tape is not edible.
After that H said that they should look at some pictures of Larlarlarlarlars on the Internet.
She should not have done that because they accidently spelled “Larlarlarlarlar” with one extr “lar”, ant they found bad pictures and they all got I trouble for it. THIS IS WHY YOU ALWAYS TUAE SAFT SEARCH ON KIDS.!!!!!
ADTER THAT, H had them make Rt wich is a chemical that turns APPLERED and DINNERPURPLE as you lick it? Everyone had their own. The Guy had his turn DEADCATORANGE and H got mad at him because that means he made Eq which is a chemical that blows up every cat it comes intwo contact width. H has a cat and SHE LOVES CATS and ANYTHING THAT IS A DANGRED TO CATS IS BAD TO HER AND SHELL KILL ANYONE WHO IS BAD TO CATS and so she probably killed Wes because he hates cats, but she didn't because it is against the law. The Other Guy had made something that turned KILLYOURSALAMANDERCYAN. H didn't know what this wasd until it blew up. It was Bq which is a chemical that blows up once every 5 seconds for 90 seconds. Why did this happen. HOW DID THEY MAKE THESE THINGS IF SHE GAME THEM THE RIGHT STUFF AND THE RIGHT INSTUCTIONS AND. This is how science workds.
CHAP 6- Launch Codes
Oh great it is now lanch and the guys had to eat lanch even though they didn't want to, BUT IT IS REQUIRED FOR SOME REASON!!! Anyway, The Guy got a pisa and The Other Guy got some spagte. They foun a table where Wes and Lloyd were sit. Also a gill named Zar and a guy named Honsi and another guy named Biy. Wes was eat a hangrbur and Lloyd was eating the Caculator that ms.maTh threw at him. Zar was eat Macronani and Chez but w/ catsup on it. Honsi was consuming a penut batter and jelly candwitch. And Biy was æting a pisa as well. Because I had to do that. The Guy asked Wes about some stuf. Wess ssssss said "You know I don't like the schol because evryond here likes cats and I don't FREAKING LIKE CATS OH MY GAM." And he did nothing after that. The Kther Gouy also then asked Lloyd "What do you do when your in a bad mood.” Lloyd said "WITH GLOYRIUS COMBAT!!$" and then he swung a sword from which no one knew where came from and he hit the table and the table didn't break somehow. Then The Other Guy asked Zar about stuff and she said "Something I don't know I don't feel like wilriting text here" and then she ate the rezt of her fod. Without provocation, Honsi took out the Monaemo and swung it at The Guy but. It didn't do anything for whatever reason. Then he said l-"I'm real feel" and that was it. Biy said that he likes trees and Apples and maybe even bugs. But not really though because bugs suck.
And then I decide to Add another character named Zaxod because I can.Zax has hair and has two arms and two legs and is basically a human like everyone eltse. But he has powers of sorts I'm not very sure though because I just wrote this. Zaxod sat down next to The Guy. He said "|>••_{}" but It's not very effective... So then The Guy said back to him "-34($/<<<>}%*" but it had no effect on Zaxod so then Zaxod did nothing after that and it was the end of launch because I said sow.
CHAPMAN 7- WHOOP WHOOP
It was fif perdiod and it was time for Studa Hall. There was The Guy and The Other Guy and all the others at lunch because I'm not listing all of them that's take to long. The teach was Mr.Bax. He told them that" this is stuf aaaa hall and you can do things here but just Mel t yell or SCREEM or fall out the window or anything disruptive." So after that, Zaxod took out his Super Device of Doing Things or SDDT and played flippin' Danky Kang 76. The Guy saw and h said "What is this gam" as he SAI back " It is Danky Kang and I have to get all the Diaster Jewels from Bewzit." Healso sait that it is as difficult as Super Ultra Mega Omega Zeta Epsilon Human which is the hard game. The another Guy was doi his Hom work whisk took him 4 minutes because he can. The Guy decided to do so too and it took him 71111111 seconds and he was mad so he attempted to throw himself out the window but then he realised:
1. The teach said not to and
2. I've used that joke too much already and it is getting stupid
so he staid in his seat... Wait I misspelled "stayed" as “staid” but it sais it's ok...what?
2 min befor staur perodi ended, Zar got up and looked at the fish tank that is in the room for whatever reason. There were fish in it. The fish were swimming. They had fins and gills and also eyes as well. Then one of them jumped out the tank and but Zar in the Table and it did 2,734 damage. But she was OK though because she has 6,385 HP and a lot of DEFENCE so it's ok. Zar didn't put the fish back and it died of Heart attack. Jeer had to go to the restroom so he got up adn asked if he could go and Mr.Bax said "what is 6x + 7 if x equals r divided by 9?"'and after 0.014 sec he asnwerred "39" and he got it rugby somehow and he got to the bathroom. What? The Guy questioned math for a minute and then The Other Guy has a seziure. The. The bel rang it and it was the last perdidos.
CHZPTER something- The Guy gets Thrown Out the Window
No he doesn't.
It was the last perroeosoaaaaaaaaaa and it was computers lab time yay. At computers lab the teac, ms.What had the kids sit down to at on for a computer. She said they can do anything but do bad things which is usualyy everything on the Interntx so she had them TURN SAFE SEARCH ON THE HIGHES MODE POSSIBLE.
The Guy opened a word Dacukent and typed a story called How Many Ducks and it got 13,835,724 sells on the bookstore that no one goes to. Th Other Guy watched YaTabe and he watched NanbedaCardioMaximus play gidvemo vaeims. It was fun time. Zaxod played another dang game but I don't know what it was so I won't say. But Biy and Honsi were playing JacksonJames which is a game where you kill things with Jackson and James and they got to levl 349 in under 3 minutes because Honsi is a cheater and had OP eauipment. Of course.
Jeer and Lloyd and Zar and Wes and were pleying a card game where you X at have more than 12 cards and if you do you have to be thrown out the win- I mean fed to sharks. THE guy gut up and asked if he could play but they said NOQOQQOOQOQQ BECAUSE it requires 77111001010101011001 players and they already have that number that I am not typing again. So the Guy sat down again back in his chari. Alpearnalty there was another girl in the Class appears mynahs her name was
Miasma
And she was at the end of the row of comps and she was playing "Lizard Home" and it is a MM0RPGame that has lots of STUPID CRAP IN IT but is is tills fun though BECAUSE THE NPCS GET A BIT ANNOYING AT THE 3rd TOWN. The Guy looked over her shouldeq and saw that she was playing as the CHaracter with the SPEAR who apperantly SCREAMS THE CRAP OUT OF YOU EARS BECAUSE THST WHAT SHE DOES APPEALTHDNSJ god what was that sentence.4 whatever reason she had the game turnt up loud and was loud. Everyone stopped and turned and looked and probably ate the east wall out of Paper because it was loud. They went to her compouter and turned it off because it ess lolaud. No they didn't ASK HER to turn it down NO they TURNED IT OFF. She was mad but also mad at the same time because that was not OK. She would have thrown a fit but you can't actually throw a fit because fit is a word and words are intangible.
or something I'm not that sure.
Woof woof I am a dog dogs go "EEARTT" when the MOON is Half-Life. Water is sea, sea is Earth, Earth is not reall I Meade it up.
Then amother character named <Little Girl> Jill raised her hand and said "Jartds Stirf wfoer rsicc eiaq wwtert."
The whole class said ".......". What did she say? No one knew BECAUSE NO ONE SPEAKS Aremarks ANYMORE!!!!! DINGUS WHAT YKUR BROBLEM IS said The Guy even though I didn't put quotation marks around it. <Little Girl> Jill said "Oh no I'm soreE I said that I meant 'Is this ok if I take the computer and I Meridian Activation tap into the inner power of your allies'?"
Thst made even less sents. But appear ms.What knows what that means and she said it was OK and. So then <Little Girl> Jill took the computer and therw it into the heir and punched it with a Super Water Wizard Mega the Book is On Fire Get Some Snakes device and the computer turned into a coconut. She took the coconut and threw it out the window and it came back but it was actually now this thing:
The thing vommited on the floor but it was actually gummy worms and they were perfectly clean and OK to eat and <Little Girl> Jill ate them and so did the rest of the class but not ms.What because she doesn't like gummy worms and then the whole class got mad at her because everyONE LIKES GUMMY WORMS and SOCIETY STATES THAT IF ONE PERSON DOESNT LIKE SOMETHING THAT EVEEYRUONE Elesis LIKES THEN THEY GET PUNISHED but they couldn't punish her because it is school and you can't do that. why did I just write that giant run-on sentence; my teachers are gonna kill me for that.
Anyway it is the end of the period and actually is the end of school for today.
CHAPTER SomethingOrOther NINE- MOTHER6
E
All 9 students went home to their homes and so did the other, like, 2 students that I didn't mention or maybe even 5 I don't know how many characters I'm putting in this stupid book. As they all went outside it was 67°F and I don't know how hot or cold that is so I'm gonna assume that they all word like shorts/skirts and shortsleeeve.... things and something I-I-I don't know what clothes are. When The Guy got home he took out the microwave from the refrigerator from the airlock container of the bathroom corner to make Dinner Time Cake Bagel Things That Taste Good or not I don't know What They Taste Liiieke. Then suddenly he got a call text message PMR DSL USB PTSD JBOD from The other Guy. He told him that something halleneded and he needed helps. The Guy tellelrorted to his house and he saw that the entire Ding Ding Dinner Macine was gone. The DDDM was a thing that The Other Guy uses so that he can move. If he dienstud have it he can't move. He was stuck in his house and he needed the thing back. The Guy said he will try. THE OTHER GUY said that he think that some Juan from the school taked it fromme hi.m. So now the Conflict has been establish and that someone from the school has the DDDM that The Other Guy needs to move or else he can't move and things might happen.
WHODUNNIT???!!
WAS IT
Jeer
Lloyd
Wes
Zar
Honsi
Biy
Zaxod
Miasma, or
<Little Girl> Jill who I end up calling “Kag” later on
Or one of the characters that I didn't get put in the book yet because I didn't …want …. To….. or something, im a lazy bookwriter. coughITWAS<Little Girl>JillCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH...
CHAPTERA TEEN or 10- ANOTHER DAY, SON
Ok so now it is the day after yesterday which means it is tomorrow and The Other Guy is still stuck in his house bec(why is this chapter so long?)ause of the DDDFRDDDIJDJDDM that was stolen from his house. so he couldn't go to school and he was excused from all school ever because of this and now he has no edumaKateion. However The Guy can go though so he at whatever time school started, he teleporttjed to school and did some stuff also as well for not being I have no skull take me out to the ball game. So at 1st period, the new teach, ms.Letter was there and she gave all the Chids a book called DON’T “AWW” THIS. It had 423 pages and had 32 chapters. The Guy opened his book and it said "Go to page 324" and he went there and it said "Hello I am a dog if you see my owner please take him outside and throw him 34 ft down the Interstate 734 at 8:33333 o'clock on a 2sday."
The Guy erased the message out the book because it was stupid and dumb and obligatory and trivial and asinine and also Kinnda ostantageous or something I can't spell it and spell check isn't helping. ms.Letter told the kids to read to ch.45 within 4 minutes and if they don't they get 9;@;/£ and if they do they get 20;@;/£. All the stupdAnts did such and they all got 15;@;:£ because the teacher lied.
Then at 2nd peridot, ms.maTh gave them a piece of paper but nothing on it. Biy was there and he asked her "maTh, what is this paper for" and she said "Today we are gonna go outside and find the value of §€33:¡" because no one has found that yet. So they all went out the God dang freaking door and they fell off a beach because you can do that. So they got back up from the beach and they found a celery with candy dinner orange bagel the pizza is aggressive foodstuffs. ms.maTh took it and throw it so far that I have nothing here to say. The Guy ran to get it because ms.maTh told him to but he trleportted to get it and he cns e back with in 3 seconds$. She took the thing from him and she gave it to Miasma who then buried it in the Moo Moo Cow At The Olymic Games with and she dug it back up but I can't no what die apples my ears aren't the letter 5.
The thing turned RED and it disappeared. "what" asked Wes. ms.maTh got we t over the Wes and told him to go out in the hall because he did nothing wrong but they were outside so he jumped in a Pit. She took out a machine that had apples in the on it and it threew up a papr with numbers on it and she said that was the value of §€33:¡. What a waste of time.
As they were going back insideesAwwrrrdpqkaowkdPencilCasejalapa, The Guy asked Jeer if he has seen anything missing and he said no, "but I did see that <Little Girl> Jill beeing suspicious." So The Guy went over to her and she said "I STOLE THE DDDM HAHA(laugh)" and The Guy said to her "GAIVE IT BACk The Other Guy needs it." She said no because "I NEED IT FOR SOMETHIng THAast WIL WHEATON DESTROY YOU ALLLLLLLLLŁ!" And then she did something strange and it what have you done. After she did whatever it was that she did I really don't know because I'm not typing this right now, she said "...but I won't do such until schol ends so......rutabaga........" BUT SUDDENLY GOOGLE CHROME APPEARED OUT OF NO WHERE, HIGLY LIKELY SPSCE, AND IT ATTACKED The Guy. The Guy took out his Rapier Sword Thing and he slashed at Google Chrome but it did nothing because :
Google Chrome Lv.213-
HP: 3,945
ATK: 835
DEF: 9028
and
The Guy Lv.6-
HP: 438
ATK: 23
DEF: 19
and it wasn't fair.
Google Chrome attacked again and IT HIT The Guy in the 472whatisheaven7900. He fainted which is not the same as death. ms.maTh ran off like 328 miles away from the scene because she can't do crap. Lloyd has a Very Nice Bow that he shot an Very Slightly Poisoned arrow at and it did nothing because Google Chrome is a Steel-Type and Steel-Types take x0 damage from Poison-Type attacks. Google CHROMR ATTAcked Lloyd and he fainted as well. Wes, Honsi, and Biy used a Chain Attack!
Wes used Conflagration but it missed and he lost some vigor.
Honsi used Preemptive Slash but he wasn't first and it failed and he lost some vigor.
Biy used A Large Steel Ball of Death but his STR isn't high enough to use the skill and it failed and he lost some vigor.
The Chain Attack Failed.
Google Chrome used Force Quit and it made all 3 of them fsinat.
Zar did nothing and she fainted.
Zaxod and Miasma and <Little Girl> Jill were the only three left so they.
Zaxod said to them, "Let's all shoot some sort of saqqqqqqqpakais my dead cat laser at it and maybe that wualqpqkado sometig." They all aggreedand they all shot magic lasers at it at one and it actually did something. GOOGLE CHROM FELL OUT THE SKYE AND IT DISAPAREED AND YAY NK MORE FREAKDINGUS DESTH MURDER. Miasma used Resurrection Loci and everyone was bring back to life. Ya son. ms.maTh came back beciase she won't die now and she brought thel all back
inside and they went to the next period.
ChAPTer TWElve- Im gonna go ahead and skip 11 just ‘cus
Let's skip to launch because nothing happened at HisStory or Scienart. At the table they were talkeding aboot what happen. They don't know what happens but it was not cool because Google CHROME is illegal to build in the Satate of The One And Only Dinner Master 56 Where A Kid Can Be A Kid. Jeer said that his mother say that she was build a Google Chrome and she must have let it losse for some read son no but dad it is not fair I wanna go outside. Everyone got mad at Jeer and they made the schl get rid of him and they did and he was never seen again until I think it was either Book 2 or 3 where he changed his name to Some Guy
~...~
At his home house thing what? The Guy was playing games when he got a call from Honsi who told him to come to his house thing what?. So he GOT UP from watching the News more like the OLDS because THAT BROCAST EHAT FROM LIKE 6 DATES AGAO. Football Dinner Dot com. When he got totootoalaaooooaoapqpqpqp Honsi's hose, he saw that Wes and Biy and Miasma and Bill Nye the Science Guy were there. Ha ha I lied about Bill Nye. ウェンディ. You know, I though I TURNED OFF THE JAPANESE KEYBOARD LAST WEEK!
So when he went into their house he saw that they were looking at a screen that showed that what has what has that are what am I doing how come this is not real my tougnge hurts. He saw that they were blah blah blah it has a records of all the bad crap that <Little Girl> Jill has done before. But she is like 7 years old how the crap she so this. Why is SHE NOT IN JAILURE OR SOMETHING?! Miasjwsma what? Said "We seem to notice that You're Friend is gone and it is beciase of <Little Girl> Jill." she said. Wow now with MORE VITAMIN-D AND VIBTAMIN B-12 OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Chaptr thing Thirteeeee14- Window Washing
Before we start, why did my computer just randomly turn on?
Whatever. So LAST TIME ON DRAGON BALL C, THE GUY WENT TO HONSI'S HOUSE AND THRY GOT SOME CRAP DONE AND BY "CRAP" I MEAN "NOTHIG" BECOAUSE NOTHING HAPPNED ALTLE!!! So Honsi told The Guy that "We want to halp him width the thing that ails him". You know because Gatorade + Doritos = My doctor told me not to save the last pills at vanilla wafer. Stop going off topic you fish! Honsi said: "The stupid <Little Girl> Jill has your friend's thing rrow e or what ever and he needs it or else he will probley die of not moving." The Guy didn't know what to sat bec it was strange @ the fact that they were helpting him with.
This. Biy took out a bug from his west pocket and it died because bugs suck. "oh Apple sauce he said" he said. And then Wes was sent into the hall for pounding his FIST on the desk because he was playing Super Dingus Fighting with Misama and he lost because that's just how it is. Biy showed the Guy the screen in full depth detail. You know, the screen that had the information on it about <Little Girl> Jill and how she did a lot of bad EVIL stuff even though she is 7 years old? Yeah that. Biy said "This says that <Little Girl> Jill likes to steal and take things and rob people and steel and sometimes she destroys planets." The Guy stopped him showap waalalala and asked "OK SO WHAT THE HECK MONKEY TREE THE SQUARE ROOT OF 66384 IS SHE DOING HERE?" Honsi answered, "She wants to DESTROY THIS WORLD and probably steal all the food as well but that makes no $ because of you destroty the worlde there would not be any fosa left." Th Guy wondered whey she would take the flippin' DDDM, and Miasma said "The DDDM can be used as a HgaGggggggaW so that it breaks everything it touches and when it toucheds the world it is is is is is is is is is is is WOOODY!!" And then Woody appeared and he snake in his boot. Then he died because he is a toy. The Guy died .
No I typed "The Guy said" but Auto-Correct is a thing. The Guy said "Lemme get this straight but not really because no human can draw a straight line, <Little Girl> Jill is going to detory the world using The Other Guy's DDDM as a HgaGggggggaW to destir the world because a HgaGggggggaW can do that?"
Yeah.
"oh ok" The Guy said. Wes was allowed back into the room. Wes said," You know, I just know she will kill us all. Impetigo will kil us as well. There's no hope." No one said anything though because. Wes then count inuted,"She'll kill us and I know it. We can't stop her. I don't care if the protagonist is supposed to win in this kind of book, but no it's not gonna happen. Two steps foreword, 90 steps backward." Wes was sent into the hall for being a pessimist because pessimism is a bad thing for somereason, and people can't think the way they want to. Miasma came back from telling off Wes and then said to "Ok well we should all go to bed because schol is tormorto and we have prepare <Little Girl> Jill not die probably." So they all went to their houses. Stuff happened in the next chapter.
ChAPt |4- Some Name That Has Nothing To Do With The Contents Of The Chapter
At schow the next day on WedhessDate, it was Study time Perios, cat pee and beer. THE Guy was working on some stupid obligatory essay about essays that ms.Letter gave the class. He suddenly saw <Little Girl> Jill get up and leave the class WITHIUT ASKING WHAT THE HECK HOW COME SHE CAN DO THAT, I DID THAT YESTERDAY AND I GOT A DETERGENT!! I mean detention. The Guy and Honsi got up and ask if they could go to the bat her room (what?) and Mr.Bax SAId "yee" and they went actually to follow <Little Girl> Jill. Wait why did Mr.Bax let them both go to the bathroomwaterclosetrestroomTheToilet? You know what never mind I'm not gonna question my own logic. They followeddd 'er to some room on the South side of the shcpol. She went in and the door lockseed. "eh". I don't know which of them said that but it was said. They looked behind them to see that Zaxod was walking around somewhere for no reason. The Guy. Yellt at him "Hey Zax can you come 'ere a sec my GOod chap sir mate person." He ran like 60 m/hr to the both of them as they were 3 feet away from him. I don't know exactly how lg 3ft is. Zax stopped at them and asked what the wnted. Bagel. Holy god" said Honsi and he told Zaxond what they needed which was to opeddn he door. Zaxod thought for an 5 hours and then he decided that he should use Fire 3 on the lock, but that would utterly dearth the school. So he decided he'd use Waterfall but THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING, BUT NOT NOW, so he decided he'd use his lock picking, but he needed level 100 Lockpicking, and he only had like level 14 Lockpicking, so he decided he'd use Dark Spear Raid. Yeah there you go, way to use the pro suss of Elim in nation. So he used Dark Spear Raid, MAKING SURE THE GUY AND HONSI WERE NOT IN THE SKILL RADIUS and the door blew in and they found a sec rate hall way thing that I'm sure they used to send Wes into. So the two 2 to too tooth thanked Zaxod and he went back to where ever he came from because he wasn't at Studqy prdiodt. The Guy and Honsi went into the flipping dark hallway thing and they say that nothing was there but more dark crap. It was dark and they couldn't see in front of them. Blue. After abou t 7 minutes they saw a faint light that was not orange or green or purple or blue or tan or chartreuse or olive or some shade of red, but it was the colour 7. As they got closer they noticed that the colour brightness thing was geting more intense. Well crap. They enededeeeededed up in a room that had comps in it and lots of screens and ROB TRACY! Honsi asked "HOLY SHEEP DEM GRAPHICS!!!! HOW YOU GET IN HERE!?" And Rob TRACY said "Not really very easily." And then PC Pro came to life and it was not good so The Guy and Honsi has to fight Rob Tracy and The Shrek Guy and The Other PC Pro Dude. They fell out in one hit though because they are bad people and I hate them for making me waste hours of my life doing something that does not Benny fit me at all.after them they walkedted fur her into the Rom and they saw... TO BE COUTINUTED...in the next chapter.
CHAPTER 15- The OFF Topic CHAPTER
NO ha ha you have to wait this is the stupid chapter that I get to write. I don't understand something? How come this exists? What have I done to myself??????? I have no idea what made me do this but it is what has to be done exclet I Kinnda said I wouldn't write a 5th book. Why am I writing a 5th book..? Something is not right here. Also something is knot right also. It is because my friend BROKE THE AGLET ON MY SHOE AND THE WHOLE LACE CAME UNWOUND LIKE THE BOOK UNWIND, BUT THAT BOOK MADE ME SICK, THANKS ENGLISH TEACHER!!This is the Kinnda crap I can't do, GO ON STUPID RANST but I just did so never mind. What is the point of this chapter anyways? I wanted a break from the stupid plot which makes no sents or cents or sence or sense or ¢ or Cash Money Dollar$. Silkworms. I have some nohigns. What the heck dude can you not. No. No way man nope this is going too far but I can't retrieve it because it is too far to Halo Reach.
What is 1 + 1? It is:
according to Wikiped.
Ok I think this chapter is over goodbye all 0.00535 readers don't pull your eyes out, I tried that the other day and it kinnda hurt. Something or other...
CHAPTER SIXTeen- was a really stupid TV show why did they even make that?
So after sitting there waiting for me to finish having a flippin seziure over nothing, they looked further into the ding dang God dang stupid room. They found 4 people in the room. One was <Little Girl> Jill and the other 3 were peps we don't know yet at all never because. By never I mean now. Honsi spoke words from his mouth: " <Little Girl> Jill!!! Who are these peopekepeodoeoeooepeprorpekepeoeooeoeeoeoeoeorororororororororeorooro8?" She stared at him for 8 minutes...
...
......
.......
.........
........................
"What is this" said The Guy.
.................
...................................................
Congratulation! Your Egg has hatched into a Something.
"???" Said The Guy. "Honsi what is your problem?"
"AFK" he said.
"Wow that's just nice..." Said The Guy and then he t4724ned to <Little Girl> Jill.
"Who are these peoplea?" He asked
She pointed to one and said this is Arpkre
Arpkre did anything
She pointed to another and said this is Sihrc
Sihrc also as well did anything
She pointed to the last one and said this is Saica
Saica , as you guesses, did anything
Oh and there was a 4th one too. I was too sutupid and forgot some how, but she pointed to him and said this is Ttam.
Guess what? Ttam did anything.
And also being , sorry, there was a 5th one too and I was also too stoop tio remem. But she is pointed to heim and seadithis is Saiel
Ill let you guess what I’d say here.
She said --
WHAT SHE WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'm talking aaBOUT THE ONLY GIRL IN THE ROOM YOU DINGUS. Of all the STUPID crap in this story thing THATS THE QUESTION YOU ASK?
Anyway, she said "they have help me make the plan that will are is have being the end of this worl."
"Well crap"
No we can't have this now can we. Well no boning bad is happen yet because she said she won't destro anything until the end of the week on SatherDate. She countinue: "They help with the proghammming wid the thing that what DDDM that makes things die it has water and base cake the not when more rocks are not in the 55th centre."
"Oh no not that WHAT?! NOOO!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NO NO WHAT YOU CANT DO THAT WHAT IS THR POINTE OF THIS DECISION THAT YOU MAKED!?" said Honsi because he isn't AFK anymore, but after he said that he went AFK again.
<Little Girl> Jill said "I hate this world because it is fill with nothing but Dinguses and...Dinguses with nothing to do BuT MAKE StupiD SENTenCES THat mAKE NO SENT DOLLARS!"
"But that made no sence as well why don't you destrot yourself?" Said The Guy. That was not a good thing to ask because this is school and you can't make references to ending oneself because that is basically what he just said to her. Now here, the Pekple Who Come After People Who Make References To Ending Oneself In School would have came in and taken The Guy to Jaliure, but the PWCAPEMRTEOIS couldn't find where he was so they gave up after 3 seconds which is a new record. SO THEn <Little Girl> Jill whispered something in Sihrc's ear, and he nodded to her, and then he presses a big ORANGE button. No not a RED button, but a ORANGE One. All of a sud, the floor broke up and Honsi and The Guy fell through and they appeared in the hallway before the door before the other dark hallway before the room wid the comps and stuff. They looked at each other like nothing happened (because nothing did happ, this whole chapter could have been skipped) and went back to Studsury perdoit. Mr.Bax yelled at them for being gone at the batheroom for 7 minutes even though that part where 8 minutes passes but I don't understand time sometimes so never mind. What the heck just happened are you serious who the heck makes a--
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN- The part where crap goes down
{Welcome to Station Square- Sonic Adventure}
After school on TharsDate, The Guy and Honsi and Miasma and Wes and Biy and Zar and Zaxod were walking in the city. Zaxod then realised that there were too many characters to keep track of, but that was ok because he had a list of them written in his pocket on a piec of pape. Honsi and Biy were talking aboot some game calt The Advent OF The One Person Who Does Things for whatever, and Wes and The Guy were talking about cats and how stupid they are because all they do is sit around in the house and be fat and eat all threr food and "mew" alot and PUSH GLASSES OF WATER OVER ON YOUR IPOD OR GAME SYSTEM OF SOME SORT. And Zar and Miasma were talking about "girl stuff" or something. That is what they said when Zaxod asked them what they were talking about. "blah blah blah- some non relevant information- dingus dingus water the plants THE DOOR IS RINGING." was their exat wording. The Guy was about to ask Wes about killing every cat in existence when they all saw a large thing in the sky. It was ORANGE and something else.
{Battle Theme- Final Fantasy X}
The ORANGE thing dropped some Attacking Creatures on the city. There were Kselids and Starcrabs and Sasquacks and Dragonbound Assassins and Luska and Lesser Goblin Warriors and Ancient Cubes and a Marlboro and Octorocks and Dry Bones and Birds...BIRDS!! And also some Monoeyes and a Wollywog and some a Gyrados. That's a lot of enememeies. Oh it also dropped some dank memes, but those aren't bad. Why did it drilop them then?
All the characters except Lloyd who I left out accedenlty (and I don't feel like putting him in right now) have to fight off all the monstars.
The Guy took on the Monoeyes which were easy because all he had to do was use the Mirrored Shield buff and all their shots were reflected back at them. And thely all died from it. Yeah all 6 that the thing shot out. Wes decided he'd fihg the Kselids and Starcabs which were also easy because they are like level 25 -30 enemies who stop appearing at , like, the last area of the first section of the game. Wes took them out with his Staff and also his Mace and Shield he had to use when he was low on HEALTH.
Miasma fought the Sasquacks. Stupid little Bipedial Duck-playtPus things that are stupid I hate them but they were easy as well because of her flippin' Wand with the attacks of Magic that murder everything.
Honsi and Zar were stopped in their tracks when they tried to help Miasma buy the stupid Dragonbound Assassins. They were a bit hard to kill because they appeared in the part of the game when everything gets stupid and they're are GOD DANG GIANT CRAB/TURTLE/SHELLFISH THINGS WALKING AROUND A MILDY POPULAR AREA. AND BY GIANT I MEAN BIG AS A HOUSE!!!!!¡1!!!one!!! However, they were easy to get rid of bec/ Zar had a Godstone in her weapon that activates with a 80% chance that does 11,000 Damage and Honsi had the Mandomeo with powers of death on.
Oh crap here come the Lesser Goblin Warrors and the Ancient Cubes. Before anything, the Cubes shot lasers from their middle, witch hit Biy and Zaxod. Lucky though Zax has like 10,834 EVA and Biy can take projectiles and put them in has backpack. Biy told Zax to approach the Cubes and aggro them, while he prepared the laser to throw back. This would have gone well IF NOT FOR THE STUPID GOBLINS. FREAAKING GOBLYN WAS THRRE EVEN THOUGH HE IS AN ALLY, AND HE WAS MESSING UP ZAX. Biy tried to throw the laser back, but it missed the Cubes. But howeverdinnerkillfootball, it hit the Goblins AND GOBLYN AS WELL!! No not Goblyn he was cool!!! Zax hit the Cubes with his Weapon Sword That Can Hurt Things and they didn't die or anything BECAUSE THEY ARE CUBES. Biy hit them with his Steel Ball Thing That He Has For Whatever Reason, AND THIS TIME HE HAS ENOUGH STR to DO so. It was a Crit and they fell apart.
Oh no the Octorocks. Easy as pie Wes blocked their rocks with his Shield and they dies.
Dry Bones was hard to kill a bit because he cannot die. So Honsi had to use Mondeamo Light to shine 828384w of light on them wich killed the one singular Dry Bones.
Biy shot the birds down with his SlingShot.
Miasma was stopped by Luska the Dog. He is cool I like Luska because he has an Axe that he throws. Although he is marked as a Melee type character. Luska is affiliated with the Water Element, so Nature element attacks will do 150% more damage to him, BUT MIASMA HAS LIKE +50% ATTRIBUTE ATTACK MEDALS ON HER WEAPON SO LIKE ONE ATTACK FROM IT DID A LIT OF DAMAGE TO HIM AND he fell out and disintegrated! No not Luska to0. Why I put my favourite characters here?
So Wes tried to kill the Wollywog, but just punching it won't do anygood, so Honsi got some Pikmin from wherever, and threw them at the WOLLYWOOOG!!!!!!! Lukly they were Purple Pikmins so it was all ok.
Now here is the Gyrados. Now Miasma tried to KO it but YOU CANT DO THAT IT IS A POKÉMON!!¡1/$" So then Zaxod sent out his Magnezone and had it use Volt Switch and it WOULD HAVE KOd the Gyrados, BUT IT WAS HOLDIN A FOUCUS SASH AND IT HELD ON WITH 1HP AND THEN IT USED SURF AND IT WIPED OUT EVERYTHING, even the Morlboro, which would have messed things up really bad so I'm happy it's gaon.
{shut the music off}
CHAPTER ATEEN- The Time is Probably not now
So that flood.. Yeah man. Everyone got washe up and flow to somewhere I don't know. All I know it was not the City. No I think it was the ding dang oh my god it is a bee what is that there for schowl Stockholm Syndrome. Lemme say that again, the y were washed up and they need up back at the school. It was a bit late so they all decided that they would deal with the destroied town City thing or whatever I called it a few run-on sentences AGAO. And don't get the 4-pack, the 4-pack's a joke! Why would granpa put his Shoes in the fridge.?
Oh no it is FryfromFuturamaDate, and the all the people friends and also Lloyd who I left out last time is there and they get to have to help the build the city thing or maybe. It was boring Sosa I won't show it here. After they all fixeded the town, which toolk like 5 hours because the town is only 2,837 Sq Mi but I don't know how long that is so never mind, they all had to leave the town because they have to prepare for the attack of <Little Girl> Jill tomorrow. As they wereed walkeding they saw a man person and his nam was Reic and he was walking so where but he wasn't having 3 legs but actually having 82 legs and he drank loots of Gatoratde which is unhealthy. He said to them all "I know that we are all gonna die the domeorori and if josh risk everything SMOKE (the) DEED EVERYDAY t it AOE meyour mother TENATIOUS D to Diego just do it." He took out a Ravioli and threw it across the ocean and it died. It all died the ocean died and the fish died and the planet died and everyone died the end of the book. No not really.
No none of that stiff happened. No instead he t took the ravioli and ate it because he wanted the formuoli. And then spogebob and plankton came in and they sued me for making that reference. So then The Guy took out a 00394mm Rocket launcher and shootededtedeteTed Reic out to the space and out the the book because I do what I want (but not really). Lloyd looked down and noticed that the add fodnt changed again. Why did this happen I don’t like it when the don’t didfkrfk fm kd2409345308562345klsa fof\ I hate the letter 492. WALKTEDING. After see Reic they count tin youed doen the street, and everoybody that you meat has an original pointe of view and I say hay. They came to a cross raods. They all wentto to tof tftoa the other doeceottions that they had to go which was the way that they had to go which was the way that was the part of the book where I type like and idiot and then they all went home and then they wentd home hokm hom hom homh Mother333333333 te game is not ok THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A.
CAHP7R NEINTEEN – 1123 x 10 ^ -56
Ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
This time at The Guy’s house, he was playing 5Days @ Jimmy’s. Hw was a bout to win when he lost beccase Alvin and the Chipmonks. It was 6:3113 o’the;clock at night when he saw the sky being the colour #456543. Oh crap that is nmot a good clolour even though I don’t colknow what olewosr that is. So hw went outside and he saw that fffffffff <Little Girl> Jill was beiung stupid again/. The Guy calledeted out to her “No watt you doin” ans she say “ No your bus in ness you dingus dot com.” And she flew off fastly and was at the speed @ sound. Fire is good. PONTIFEX. The Guy Watched AS <Little Girl> Jill flew off into the non-existant distance. Oh snap he remem that is was SatHerDate and that was the Date that <Little Girl> Jill was gonna detory te world and he just saw <Little Girl> Jill and he neest the guys to voem stop <Little Girl> Jill oir else <Little Girl> Jill will use her <Little Girl> Jill powers to destuct the w becuas that’s what <Little Girl> Jill wants to do. The Guy used his diePhone6sss to call his fiends I mean friends to come and healp him out or maybe even in/. 9 secodn dolar cat moneky dinner the JOHN CENA later, they all were there and they hasd their weps equipped and everything. Also some top-tier Armour THAT I CANT GET BECAUSE NONE OF THE ENEMIES WANT TO DROP THE RECIPIES FOR THE ARMOUR. HOW DID THEY GET IT THEYU MUST HAVE USED PARA HAX.
Whatever. So now the time is now that nw is be the time that at the time has being that now the time time time. Thye mush fightg <Little Girl> Jill now. You know what, im just gonna call <Little Girl> Jill “Kag” because styping <Little Girl> Jill is rather annoying. Yeah so basically they had to go and get Kag killed now (Remember that Kag is what I call <Little Girl> Jill). Afteree they got all their equp ready, they left out the house but otonot reall because they were going WEST, and WEST is to the left. SHOP US LAST! SHOP US LAST! SHOP US LAST! SHOP US LAST!...you know maybe I should shut the television off while I type these…whatever. Hey yeah so abou finding Kag. All The Guy knew was that she flew off into the non-existnatt oh distance. Which die wreck shun whs that? I dunno bec this is a book and I cannot sea witch direier dude come on. Zax guessed that she went towards the SOUTH so instead if going WEST THEy went SOUTH. Afte about 43 mintes of boaring walking, thye saw a cratttttor. This was a fairly bad thing because asa aaaaaaaa a crator ususualy meant that someone summoned a metottor from spac and usd it to mess some people up. Boom headshot. Zar looked at the crater and saw that some nthing was in it which meant nothing at all. What a waste of words. “Do yu thnk Kag did that?” ask The Guy. No one knew because if they did they would not be standt god dandadandnadnandadnadnadnnad. Wondering what it is. Whatever. Hey , let's end the chapter!
CAppppppppp 18? – This was typed, like, 3 monts ater that last chapter
OH MY GOD I HATE TYPING THIS ON COMPUTER.
Zaxod was rendered catatonic because of something that I removededd from this version of the story and he colud not move for a lititle bit. So hthey left him
So they left hi bkeac where he stan and they went on. On the way still be forward they stopped at theeee shop a that wast t tther for somec reaco. No one but Zaxod had any money but they left him in the catatonic state and he still has not came come (I don’t flippin’ know the correct tense to use thereerw) out of it. Howeer they did have ueqam to sell. They all sold their uslesess items and armour or weaps or something to the shopkeep because shopkeeps in these game have like infinity amount of dollars cash money simoleans. And they got like 3,456,543;@;/£ worth of potions and revives and status curing items and whatnot. They also bought a “Catatonic Status Potion” for Zaxod and they had Miasma run all 453 miles/metres/leagues to get him. That took about 13 seconds because any longer and someone might have thrown a fit and threw themselves aj4j2jj2j out the window.Whoa whoa whao whao whao whaowa what? Why? Ok here comes ZAx and Miaaiazma, but some one is BEHinD Them oh sNAp it is nobody. Nobody shot lasers and it knocked ever one out. “I drink pee straight outta th bottle.” Nobody said aftf he kilt every.
6 min secs after their death, I think something happened...it has to had been some antoerh thing that I removed from this verisom of the story. oops. Everyone camed back to life and basically the last 4 sentences didn't t happen.
Chapppp19pppppppp
Ok well rhwy got up from deahs but they lost 50% of their items and 70% ther mon dollax. They shrugged off the Soul Sickness after dying, and continued on their wai towards the…SOUTH…right? Yeah I think. 90 minue sec hours into the walk, Honisisisisisa3r242342342 asked Zaxod “Introductie van de geheel nieuwe rakethelikopter van Jak's Pacific?”. That was nota good ide bcuase that rendered Zax catatonic again, and they had lost their “Catatonic Status Potions” when they diedid. Well now he is gonna have to just sit tere anda god dang it this text is horrible.They left Zaxod behind and contin foreward and reache a cavenre. The cave was really ominous and scary and other words that mean “horrible”. So they all stood at the cave enternce and stared at it for a long time. After some tiem pass, Zar said “shoul we go in?” ans no one answere because they didn’t want to and they can dew what thyr want to dew because thye drink MTN DEW like good boys and gilds. After more unbareable seconds, Misasmasaersomething let out a banshee scheirek and It scaed the crape out of everyone into walk/running/ambulating into the cavrene.
Zxaod was still catatonic. How doefa ncoe un-cataton oncelf? ZZQQW thought he would be stuck foevr but he rember that he cad cast spells, and catatonic-ness does not forbadedead spells. So he caST ^^Uncataton on himself, and e was ab to maveagain like a real human being with real mixed feelins hello hello hello. So tneh he move @@@ 74m/s/s/s/s/s/s/s/s/s/s/s in sthe same dierecet that.
20 retpahC
The group went into the cave. They am sucpsect that Kag is in there and that the is have the get her are the being killed because she is a bad person and she is going to kill everyone else and so I guess I leded abut this being a “paCIFsit” run, no we are gonna doa “Neutra” run and only get her kilt and no one elsts because she Is bad and I alreadyd sayd that but I am a brodken record so ha ha funny joke.
Biy: Look over here, I think I found a thg.
Honsi: No you didn’t, put it down.
Zar: No, let’sr2 see wh4t it are.
Zar takes the thg from Biy…. It falsh, like, 453 different colours, even ones no one has evr see befre. Then he thig started speking.
The thngi: If you fo not put me donw, I will prpbably blow up and destroy each and everyone of your hous.
Everyone: (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Thng: Hello I am a thngsssfiemagij I will not killedyou haha that was funny joke. Ha ha.
Wes: No, only I maek ha ha funny joke you shot your mothu up.
Tinkg: Wes go to the nurse, you nead the helps
Wes leaves and finds the nurdses office which was luckly 4 meres next to the cavere.
Thnksg: What are you in here 5?
Miasama: We are heeree to find and get kilt the stupid Kag who was once callle <Little Girl> Jill, but the author go5t tired t67ping her name over and over and over and over again.
The thngk thingus ding dong thing THE THING sat stil for a logn tiem.
Thngn: (with slight shock) Yo-----yo wan kill KAg?(Normal) ….fine, Ill Pb you two h..e…..r…………
The thnfss shatters… but the342n reformes into the froeme of nother hunmanz. As they waled down fast as be when the down the cavererne, he told them hiz na was Blaze, ant dat he was wan get kill KAG as welllllllwl. Half wia down th cavern they heer feetsteepe:
Blaze: Who the flip-dngus is that????
Miasam: Oh I thilnk that’s Za--
Blaze quickly whips out a Lightning Inquisitor’s Pisotl, and blasts energy at Zaxdos.
Zaxodoooo: Oh ok (falls out adn dies).
*21*
-50% in he cavere-
Oh snap Balze just shut Zaxdos in the faec wiff his weap. Miasmaa yell “DUDDE WHAT YOU’RE PROBLEME IS?” and bLAze say “ Oh shisp in the toilet, Im sorr.” But sory doesn’t Cut itt this time, buster. All f a sudd, WESSS WALKS INOUTTA NO WHERE do-do-do-dooooo. Do-do-do-dooooo!!!! And he spiked Blaze by using (Aerial Down + B) on him, but he mssed the sweet-spot and it only really very easily did 999% damage with the knockback ratio up to x5. Balzees went so fast he clipped throusg the cave wall and blew up. Yay that was fun. And then Biy took out a tree and chopped it down and 4 it aaaaaaa hitt Wes and he took actualy 5000% damage and Honspee went ahead and turned the dmgae ratio up to x90 and that was the end of Wes. They killed Wes even thugouh he save them feom Blaze but it was just becaue its fun to kill Wes. Oh wait no he had 3 more lives so its OK. Wow, way to mislea d the audacity. So balze is die and they now just killed thrie only lead into the rest of the cae witch actual is only just a straight bath, so why did they nead a guide? Also Zaxod is dead too, but they don’t really care because he can brought his own self front to live being well alive (well, he doesn’t, he is dead forever.) With The Guy at the lead, he and the rect of the group went donw the cave futher.
-90% into th cacacacacacacaca-
On no there is not that far, ennit? No shut up Drippy, this is not your game, you crybaby Bunting. ANYWAAYAY, they are not have be far from thened of the cave. They know this because:
1: I just said 90% in the cave and
Chap-dingus 22: NYEH-HEE-HE-HEEE-HEH-EEE-HEEE-HEEE-HEE-HEEEEE…
Liver cancer is not a joke.
After killing the Walker, they looted it beut it sucked because it only dropped level 40 gear and they were max level. So it was upsetting. Sorry dad :((((((((((((((((. What? On not I got in my garage here and I have got me new lamboginiiiiiiiiiiiii. No shut up. So thEY went onwardses to get find the character who’s name I forgortm becuaes this is like 4 days since I last tped this. Oh it’s Kag, ha ha funny joke ha ha ha. I think thye walked like 4 more minutere or something and then they found a thing a thingy thing thing with Windows XD 98 Cortana. The Guy ask Cortana “Cortana, how far is it to Kag” and Cortana didn’t answer because Corta is stupid. No jk jk Im jk, no Cortana said back “ I dunno, but here are 6 fast food restaurant in your area.” The Guy threw a cave at CoRTana and it blew up into negative seventy-nine Pisces. Oh no look, right afert Cornana, was Kag. Oh CRAP THAt was too soon, oops. Kag say “NO You destried my Cortana!!!”. Then she wnent bercerk and fired many missles. Everyone dogged them, though, because missles suck. Then she shot some lasers. They all missed too bercause lasers suck. Then she shot RJ-45 cables at them, but they missed because this isn’t PC Pro, and we don’t talk about RJ-45 Cables. Kag threw about 1/28 of a fit, and switched gravity upside-down to disorient the group. However they all played Super Mario Galaxy 3, And they knew what they were do. Kag threw an actual ½ fit, and she crushed the cave walls in. However, she is not strong enugh to do that so it didn’t really work out that well and also rutabaga have 6 lives. Kag now is throwing a whole fit, and blasted everyon with an unavoidable attack. Everyone got hit, but then Cortanan came back and it defelct the attck back at her and it did the hurting to her as well. As everyone is on the floor at Critical Health, nothing important happened, so I can skip this piece of dialoge, right>? No, sorry you cannot. Aw craasp. No, then
<Insert long list of people eere>
came out from the Heavens That Don’t Really Exist and showered them all in Life Rain. (What the heck is). Then they all spammed this:
“Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!”
which made me upset because (1) that took up most of a page and (2) don’t say that over and over like that. That’s how you ruin cheese for people. But ANY, the gropu came back to lifeu, and it were an happy tiem time timmy tim tim. Howveyre Kag was still on thE ground and maybe dying, I dunno. She had ‘nough STR to say “WwwWwWwwwwwwWWWW!!!!” and then flip out and then actualy tell me a story:
“I was walking back from school when I saw someone falloeing me and I ran from them, but they got closer so I ran faster and faster but I tripped and they got up to me and kicked me across the street like you’d do to a cat but less ‘the internet will kill you’-y. I went flying 4453 metres/millimetre and I found myself here, please do not kill me.”
Hozni said “We SHOuld kill her.” And The Guy said “No we should spare her” and Biy said “No we should kill her” and Miasia said “Coukld we spaer her?” and Wes (who I though was dead) said “No, kill her well done good” and Zar said “spARE her plz” and The Guy said “we are sparing her, so no one do anything rash.” So no one did anyth rash and they spared her. Kga got up from being 9/2 dead and said “(…………………………………………….)” which sounds like “Apple Apple Cider Cat the Cider is Cold Please Get a New One From the Home Despot”. I LISten to that song everyday and it is like 9 minutes long. Royal bake. Kag began to fly and clipped through the cave wall and was never seen again because I don’t she’s gone and the conflict is over so ill just take her out of the stor-e. She flew back to her ppplanet and was happy there becase all she did was make random stories and tell people aout “being a demon and somehow an angel at the same time” because that makes every sense.
Yo dawg, I heard you liked the last chapter, so here is the last chapter
“One finds fortitude as apple can water the Nutella.” ~no one ever
After Kag left, Zar decided it would be a good idea to tell everyone she has powers to teleport , so after all they did no need to walk all that way to fin Kag so what a waster of time ZAR YOU DINGUS. Butte be(movie)for they left, they has founded they actuale the Ding Ding Dinner Macine was sit right there where they has get rutabea. The Guy picked it. Up. What what the what what. Oh nsape, how did he did that he the DDDM is like weighs 905 tonnes, which is I do not know. Yes. PpPpPpPpPpPpPpPpPpPpPp. And so tnen he threw it out of the cave ansd it also rn. RN. It clipped through the wall because I used ;noclip me. The Dinner Macin flew ALL THE WAY to The Other Guy’s house, who in which he was being there for like a very long time. The ehing nocliped through huis roof and hit the floor and it was amaze. Luck he was no in the path of the Machine or wlsle he would have defenestrated a bagel from his 9th story house. He turned it on and he colous move again yaYA. Then theeleye Biy took out his FANCY PEN and drew a James and the giant peach and nothing significant happened because that book sucks. To lighten the moode, Honsi decided he tell a pun joke ha ha funny.
“What bird lets the air in? Air ducts”
No no no ok no no no Honsi gets to stay in the cave forever because he told that pun joke ha ha very funny. After everyone teleport back home, even afer I said Honsi stays back, they found that everything was good and wonderful and nice and good and estactic and coquettish and fickle and also a bit asunder. The schole iis over and no more school for life because this is a Utopia and no one goes to school for ever like in the wreal world.
“Somet tiems a life is borne but sometimes a life will die but some in between the liefes and deaf there is…….. living. “
I took that dfrom the a Jerrys Jacksososns r8 gr8 viode. It is nice a nice quote to 2 use for this part of the the story that is nice bcuase everonje is hap now.
At the end of the day being of which is was are preposition or a verb Sunday, all the fridenes got gether a gain and did actul go their sperete ways. Honsi went to the Aunar Kidgonm to fight the envil and get equipment that is oP as dog. Biy wenty to liove with then anminalas and do weird stuff that involve the animal that are can talk the humanas languageses. Zar went to go do some stuff related to apples in the other Plantet call Xerbe. Zaxod is dead still. Wes went to learn how to write the programme for the computrons that ware fun and make games too as well tahoe. Miasma decided to she should probably go to the Aunrar Kidgonm as well because that is wehere she beglon and was niot supposed to be ere. The Guy and The Other Guy stayed here and they lived life and also were in the last 4 books which anywasys this was the pre quil to the books stories because I said so in the first sentence I think. All was wlell everyone was not really haooy because happpyness is a lie and so is love and hope and faith and humans and anything elstes but this is not the time to be a sad-sour-puss-cry-baby-Bunting like Drippy would say but I told him to get out and he is not here anymore and I wish everyone be happy and this is the end of the book so I had to leave it out with a bang if you know what I mean and by “bang” I mean I had some C4 hidden in the basement that I set off and it was wonderful, except I killed a bunch of people when I did it so yay
the end
The 4-pack’s a joke!
(Bagel Fish-Car-Foot 5 or something I'm not too sure)
NOTES FOR THE SAKE OF THE GOD DING-DANG STORY:
Why are you reading this?
Synopsis: Thsid book is abuto the advants of the two guys: The Guy and The Other Guy at their school. Stuff happe . the end.
CHAPTERE 1- One
Ok well I think I will make this book part being made back in the time the has we're good times at like 1 years before the fist book I have a eat in the oven. This was when The Guy and The Other Guy were having the goes of to their stupid school thing that where they learned that they were having new stuff and things I think this is the longest run-on sentence in the world. It was 62:04 or also 62:11 when the two guys have the start go to school. They had to go to )(-;&;th grade and that was it because only one weak of schol was need. WOW ONE WEAK THAT IS AM AZDING!!
Whatever so on the mourning on the date of scal, The Guy got all his scoadl supplie. It comprised of a pensil and a papr and a eraszr and ah pen and a thing that you hold all the crap on in an bag with on your back. Then @t 9627:6666666 o'clock, he teleportaaaaaaaed to the salrco.
Then The Other Guy had to geaat red E as wel. He brougat the same crap as The Guy did but he actually 8 BREAKFZAT. Also were he cannot telepprrnrot... No he can run at the speed of sound got no place to go got to follow my rainbow.
CHALETRR 2- Scaloll
Oh no it is schawdl time. At schawl, The Guy found The Other Guy and they has to go to the calffeteridiarhea as long eith the other stud ants there as welled. They all had to being sit there for about 3;56 sec dollars. The. Suddenly the price of pal came and talked to the syduadants. Oh hi iOS 9.0.1.
He said "Welcome to Quillsde School. I am princpal Ddrrr. Today I all tell you some crap about the stupid flipping school..." And he went on for 6 seconds abou the school and then he told everythonresr to go to 1zt perdoitodsr.
At 1si PeAaaA, the two guys went to their Enghasih class be issue they speek Inglish. The techer saif, "Hela and wel ad to the Inglish clas that you are be in today I iam the techr Mr.Wtd." Wtd went over to the first desk and said to the boy person sitting therr "what is yer nae?" The person boy guy thing said "my nam is Jeer." Wtd asked Jeer what he dis and he said he dos Apple Sauce Simulation at Water Baords with The Gum that Has Many Flavours. Wtd gave him 6,;€ cash dollars.
"OH BOY WOW LOOK ATBTHE MAONOAY YAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" And then he got thrown out the class beCAUSE YOU CANT SCREEM.Then wtd went to The Guy and asked him his name and he said that his name is The Guy and then Wtd as him w he name was and The Guy said that he Drinks Many Dagwood Trees When The Moon is Not Full but is Actually IMAX THEATER. Oh crap he realised that is an illeagal activity BUT WTD IS TOO DUMB AD DIDNT DSYANYTHING. Same this to The Other Guy but he said he Does Nothing but Eat and Llay Gideo Vames and Chews Bubble Gum but He's All Outta Gum. Wtd threw a fit because he wanted to to that and so he threew himself out the window.
Wow what a nice firzt perdio.
CHALTER 3- What are You TaLK Ing abOUT?
So now it is Secadond perawdd mainly because the teacher threw himself out the windo. So now they had to g to Maff class. It was Teacher named Ms.maTh. She gave them 4 pages of homework that made them have to describe the length between Apple and Aggrandisement without using the words the,and,or,but,for,when, or any word starting with E.
A studant in the backrow named Lloyd said "What the heck man this makes no ¢, why we have to do this?" And Ms.maTh got mad and hit Lloyd with a Caculator. It was chewy. The Other Guy did the homework at schooa in 3 min and it was A+ work,son. How he do that. He didn't because he has Cheat Codes. Of course. However The Guy couldn't do it at all and we punished for about 6 dates and couldn't have any food. He threew a fit and fell out the window. But he didn't die like Mr.Wtd. Oh by the way, wtd died. But any ways after ms.maTh did that she also told
The kids about The Stuff that No One Wants to Hear because it is Trivial and Annoyng and I Hate Typing Like This. She went on for 42 hours about this. Then it was 3dr Perdaiowd.
CHAPTER 4- gOD DanG IT
On thrad Persaaaaqadodkdgodihatecats the guys had HisStory. They had Mr.Dingus. Dingus got all the kids names and they told him their occupation and their name and also their net worth with Dinner. And then Dingus told them his story because it's His Story class, not your story or Her story or their story or Cave Story. Lloyd was there. He asked Dingus," Hey what are we gonna be do here in the class." And Dingus threew a fit and fell up the window. Then he said "YOU WILL LISTEN TO MY STORY AND THEN I WILL TEST YOU ON IT!!¡$" and the LEEEROOOOOOY...JEEENKEEEENNNNNS!!!!!!!
And the all the studawlts groaned loudly and fell out their chairs. A studar named Wes banged his head against the drsk. Like 6 times in a row hard. He didn't die though he was ok. But not really because everyday after that he had the lroblems with the thinking and the speaking and the cherry Coke. So then Dingus told them all about his 4 year old self:
"I had to go to the beach and I saw a person and she fell in the water and I went to go get her but she has no face and I was scared and then I pass out. When I saw the light I saw that my momher had taken her to the hosPITal and was everything good well and Okay."
Then he gave them a 4 hour quiz on the Solar System.
CHALQQQQTEER 5- Bagel Diner 64
It was forsath pedio and the guys had Sciends class. Ms.H was the teach. She said that this was scie class and that they were gonna learn stuff about space and rocks and planets and gravity and mint. As a test she ask the stufsrfs if they knew what Larlarlarlarlars where. They didn't know, so she also threw a half-fit and half threew herself out the windwo.
Tape is not edible.
After that H said that they should look at some pictures of Larlarlarlarlars on the Internet.
She should not have done that because they accidently spelled “Larlarlarlarlar” with one extr “lar”, ant they found bad pictures and they all got I trouble for it. THIS IS WHY YOU ALWAYS TUAE SAFT SEARCH ON KIDS.!!!!!
ADTER THAT, H had them make Rt wich is a chemical that turns APPLERED and DINNERPURPLE as you lick it? Everyone had their own. The Guy had his turn DEADCATORANGE and H got mad at him because that means he made Eq which is a chemical that blows up every cat it comes intwo contact width. H has a cat and SHE LOVES CATS and ANYTHING THAT IS A DANGRED TO CATS IS BAD TO HER AND SHELL KILL ANYONE WHO IS BAD TO CATS and so she probably killed Wes because he hates cats, but she didn't because it is against the law. The Other Guy had made something that turned KILLYOURSALAMANDERCYAN. H didn't know what this wasd until it blew up. It was Bq which is a chemical that blows up once every 5 seconds for 90 seconds. Why did this happen. HOW DID THEY MAKE THESE THINGS IF SHE GAME THEM THE RIGHT STUFF AND THE RIGHT INSTUCTIONS AND. This is how science workds.
CHAP 6- Launch Codes
Oh great it is now lanch and the guys had to eat lanch even though they didn't want to, BUT IT IS REQUIRED FOR SOME REASON!!! Anyway, The Guy got a pisa and The Other Guy got some spagte. They foun a table where Wes and Lloyd were sit. Also a gill named Zar and a guy named Honsi and another guy named Biy. Wes was eat a hangrbur and Lloyd was eating the Caculator that ms.maTh threw at him. Zar was eat Macronani and Chez but w/ catsup on it. Honsi was consuming a penut batter and jelly candwitch. And Biy was æting a pisa as well. Because I had to do that. The Guy asked Wes about some stuf. Wess ssssss said "You know I don't like the schol because evryond here likes cats and I don't FREAKING LIKE CATS OH MY GAM." And he did nothing after that. The Kther Gouy also then asked Lloyd "What do you do when your in a bad mood.” Lloyd said "WITH GLOYRIUS COMBAT!!$" and then he swung a sword from which no one knew where came from and he hit the table and the table didn't break somehow. Then The Other Guy asked Zar about stuff and she said "Something I don't know I don't feel like wilriting text here" and then she ate the rezt of her fod. Without provocation, Honsi took out the Monaemo and swung it at The Guy but. It didn't do anything for whatever reason. Then he said l-"I'm real feel" and that was it. Biy said that he likes trees and Apples and maybe even bugs. But not really though because bugs suck.
And then I decide to Add another character named Zaxod because I can.Zax has hair and has two arms and two legs and is basically a human like everyone eltse. But he has powers of sorts I'm not very sure though because I just wrote this. Zaxod sat down next to The Guy. He said "|>••_{}" but It's not very effective... So then The Guy said back to him "-34($/<<<>}%*" but it had no effect on Zaxod so then Zaxod did nothing after that and it was the end of launch because I said sow.
CHAPMAN 7- WHOOP WHOOP
It was fif perdiod and it was time for Studa Hall. There was The Guy and The Other Guy and all the others at lunch because I'm not listing all of them that's take to long. The teach was Mr.Bax. He told them that" this is stuf aaaa hall and you can do things here but just Mel t yell or SCREEM or fall out the window or anything disruptive." So after that, Zaxod took out his Super Device of Doing Things or SDDT and played flippin' Danky Kang 76. The Guy saw and h said "What is this gam" as he SAI back " It is Danky Kang and I have to get all the Diaster Jewels from Bewzit." Healso sait that it is as difficult as Super Ultra Mega Omega Zeta Epsilon Human which is the hard game. The another Guy was doi his Hom work whisk took him 4 minutes because he can. The Guy decided to do so too and it took him 71111111 seconds and he was mad so he attempted to throw himself out the window but then he realised:
1. The teach said not to and
2. I've used that joke too much already and it is getting stupid
so he staid in his seat... Wait I misspelled "stayed" as “staid” but it sais it's ok...what?
2 min befor staur perodi ended, Zar got up and looked at the fish tank that is in the room for whatever reason. There were fish in it. The fish were swimming. They had fins and gills and also eyes as well. Then one of them jumped out the tank and but Zar in the Table and it did 2,734 damage. But she was OK though because she has 6,385 HP and a lot of DEFENCE so it's ok. Zar didn't put the fish back and it died of Heart attack. Jeer had to go to the restroom so he got up adn asked if he could go and Mr.Bax said "what is 6x + 7 if x equals r divided by 9?"'and after 0.014 sec he asnwerred "39" and he got it rugby somehow and he got to the bathroom. What? The Guy questioned math for a minute and then The Other Guy has a seziure. The. The bel rang it and it was the last perdidos.
CHZPTER something- The Guy gets Thrown Out the Window
No he doesn't.
It was the last perroeosoaaaaaaaaaa and it was computers lab time yay. At computers lab the teac, ms.What had the kids sit down to at on for a computer. She said they can do anything but do bad things which is usualyy everything on the Interntx so she had them TURN SAFE SEARCH ON THE HIGHES MODE POSSIBLE.
The Guy opened a word Dacukent and typed a story called How Many Ducks and it got 13,835,724 sells on the bookstore that no one goes to. Th Other Guy watched YaTabe and he watched NanbedaCardioMaximus play gidvemo vaeims. It was fun time. Zaxod played another dang game but I don't know what it was so I won't say. But Biy and Honsi were playing JacksonJames which is a game where you kill things with Jackson and James and they got to levl 349 in under 3 minutes because Honsi is a cheater and had OP eauipment. Of course.
Jeer and Lloyd and Zar and Wes and were pleying a card game where you X at have more than 12 cards and if you do you have to be thrown out the win- I mean fed to sharks. THE guy gut up and asked if he could play but they said NOQOQQOOQOQQ BECAUSE it requires 77111001010101011001 players and they already have that number that I am not typing again. So the Guy sat down again back in his chari. Alpearnalty there was another girl in the Class appears mynahs her name was
Miasma
And she was at the end of the row of comps and she was playing "Lizard Home" and it is a MM0RPGame that has lots of STUPID CRAP IN IT but is is tills fun though BECAUSE THE NPCS GET A BIT ANNOYING AT THE 3rd TOWN. The Guy looked over her shouldeq and saw that she was playing as the CHaracter with the SPEAR who apperantly SCREAMS THE CRAP OUT OF YOU EARS BECAUSE THST WHAT SHE DOES APPEALTHDNSJ god what was that sentence.4 whatever reason she had the game turnt up loud and was loud. Everyone stopped and turned and looked and probably ate the east wall out of Paper because it was loud. They went to her compouter and turned it off because it ess lolaud. No they didn't ASK HER to turn it down NO they TURNED IT OFF. She was mad but also mad at the same time because that was not OK. She would have thrown a fit but you can't actually throw a fit because fit is a word and words are intangible.
or something I'm not that sure.
Woof woof I am a dog dogs go "EEARTT" when the MOON is Half-Life. Water is sea, sea is Earth, Earth is not reall I Meade it up.
Then amother character named <Little Girl> Jill raised her hand and said "Jartds Stirf wfoer rsicc eiaq wwtert."
The whole class said ".......". What did she say? No one knew BECAUSE NO ONE SPEAKS Aremarks ANYMORE!!!!! DINGUS WHAT YKUR BROBLEM IS said The Guy even though I didn't put quotation marks around it. <Little Girl> Jill said "Oh no I'm soreE I said that I meant 'Is this ok if I take the computer and I Meridian Activation tap into the inner power of your allies'?"
Thst made even less sents. But appear ms.What knows what that means and she said it was OK and. So then <Little Girl> Jill took the computer and therw it into the heir and punched it with a Super Water Wizard Mega the Book is On Fire Get Some Snakes device and the computer turned into a coconut. She took the coconut and threw it out the window and it came back but it was actually now this thing:
The thing vommited on the floor but it was actually gummy worms and they were perfectly clean and OK to eat and <Little Girl> Jill ate them and so did the rest of the class but not ms.What because she doesn't like gummy worms and then the whole class got mad at her because everyONE LIKES GUMMY WORMS and SOCIETY STATES THAT IF ONE PERSON DOESNT LIKE SOMETHING THAT EVEEYRUONE Elesis LIKES THEN THEY GET PUNISHED but they couldn't punish her because it is school and you can't do that. why did I just write that giant run-on sentence; my teachers are gonna kill me for that.
Anyway it is the end of the period and actually is the end of school for today.
CHAPTER SomethingOrOther NINE- MOTHER6
E
All 9 students went home to their homes and so did the other, like, 2 students that I didn't mention or maybe even 5 I don't know how many characters I'm putting in this stupid book. As they all went outside it was 67°F and I don't know how hot or cold that is so I'm gonna assume that they all word like shorts/skirts and shortsleeeve.... things and something I-I-I don't know what clothes are. When The Guy got home he took out the microwave from the refrigerator from the airlock container of the bathroom corner to make Dinner Time Cake Bagel Things That Taste Good or not I don't know What They Taste Liiieke. Then suddenly he got a call text message PMR DSL USB PTSD JBOD from The other Guy. He told him that something halleneded and he needed helps. The Guy tellelrorted to his house and he saw that the entire Ding Ding Dinner Macine was gone. The DDDM was a thing that The Other Guy uses so that he can move. If he dienstud have it he can't move. He was stuck in his house and he needed the thing back. The Guy said he will try. THE OTHER GUY said that he think that some Juan from the school taked it fromme hi.m. So now the Conflict has been establish and that someone from the school has the DDDM that The Other Guy needs to move or else he can't move and things might happen.
WHODUNNIT???!!
WAS IT
Jeer
Lloyd
Wes
Zar
Honsi
Biy
Zaxod
Miasma, or
<Little Girl> Jill who I end up calling “Kag” later on
Or one of the characters that I didn't get put in the book yet because I didn't …want …. To….. or something, im a lazy bookwriter. coughITWAS<Little Girl>JillCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH...
CHAPTERA TEEN or 10- ANOTHER DAY, SON
Ok so now it is the day after yesterday which means it is tomorrow and The Other Guy is still stuck in his house bec(why is this chapter so long?)ause of the DDDFRDDDIJDJDDM that was stolen from his house. so he couldn't go to school and he was excused from all school ever because of this and now he has no edumaKateion. However The Guy can go though so he at whatever time school started, he teleporttjed to school and did some stuff also as well for not being I have no skull take me out to the ball game. So at 1st period, the new teach, ms.Letter was there and she gave all the Chids a book called DON’T “AWW” THIS. It had 423 pages and had 32 chapters. The Guy opened his book and it said "Go to page 324" and he went there and it said "Hello I am a dog if you see my owner please take him outside and throw him 34 ft down the Interstate 734 at 8:33333 o'clock on a 2sday."
The Guy erased the message out the book because it was stupid and dumb and obligatory and trivial and asinine and also Kinnda ostantageous or something I can't spell it and spell check isn't helping. ms.Letter told the kids to read to ch.45 within 4 minutes and if they don't they get 9;@;/£ and if they do they get 20;@;/£. All the stupdAnts did such and they all got 15;@;:£ because the teacher lied.
Then at 2nd peridot, ms.maTh gave them a piece of paper but nothing on it. Biy was there and he asked her "maTh, what is this paper for" and she said "Today we are gonna go outside and find the value of §€33:¡" because no one has found that yet. So they all went out the God dang freaking door and they fell off a beach because you can do that. So they got back up from the beach and they found a celery with candy dinner orange bagel the pizza is aggressive foodstuffs. ms.maTh took it and throw it so far that I have nothing here to say. The Guy ran to get it because ms.maTh told him to but he trleportted to get it and he cns e back with in 3 seconds$. She took the thing from him and she gave it to Miasma who then buried it in the Moo Moo Cow At The Olymic Games with and she dug it back up but I can't no what die apples my ears aren't the letter 5.
The thing turned RED and it disappeared. "what" asked Wes. ms.maTh got we t over the Wes and told him to go out in the hall because he did nothing wrong but they were outside so he jumped in a Pit. She took out a machine that had apples in the on it and it threew up a papr with numbers on it and she said that was the value of §€33:¡. What a waste of time.
As they were going back insideesAwwrrrdpqkaowkdPencilCasejalapa, The Guy asked Jeer if he has seen anything missing and he said no, "but I did see that <Little Girl> Jill beeing suspicious." So The Guy went over to her and she said "I STOLE THE DDDM HAHA(laugh)" and The Guy said to her "GAIVE IT BACk The Other Guy needs it." She said no because "I NEED IT FOR SOMETHIng THAast WIL WHEATON DESTROY YOU ALLLLLLLLLŁ!" And then she did something strange and it what have you done. After she did whatever it was that she did I really don't know because I'm not typing this right now, she said "...but I won't do such until schol ends so......rutabaga........" BUT SUDDENLY GOOGLE CHROME APPEARED OUT OF NO WHERE, HIGLY LIKELY SPSCE, AND IT ATTACKED The Guy. The Guy took out his Rapier Sword Thing and he slashed at Google Chrome but it did nothing because :
Google Chrome Lv.213-
HP: 3,945
ATK: 835
DEF: 9028
and
The Guy Lv.6-
HP: 438
ATK: 23
DEF: 19
and it wasn't fair.
Google Chrome attacked again and IT HIT The Guy in the 472whatisheaven7900. He fainted which is not the same as death. ms.maTh ran off like 328 miles away from the scene because she can't do crap. Lloyd has a Very Nice Bow that he shot an Very Slightly Poisoned arrow at and it did nothing because Google Chrome is a Steel-Type and Steel-Types take x0 damage from Poison-Type attacks. Google CHROMR ATTAcked Lloyd and he fainted as well. Wes, Honsi, and Biy used a Chain Attack!
Wes used Conflagration but it missed and he lost some vigor.
Honsi used Preemptive Slash but he wasn't first and it failed and he lost some vigor.
Biy used A Large Steel Ball of Death but his STR isn't high enough to use the skill and it failed and he lost some vigor.
The Chain Attack Failed.
Google Chrome used Force Quit and it made all 3 of them fsinat.
Zar did nothing and she fainted.
Zaxod and Miasma and <Little Girl> Jill were the only three left so they.
Zaxod said to them, "Let's all shoot some sort of saqqqqqqqpakais my dead cat laser at it and maybe that wualqpqkado sometig." They all aggreedand they all shot magic lasers at it at one and it actually did something. GOOGLE CHROM FELL OUT THE SKYE AND IT DISAPAREED AND YAY NK MORE FREAKDINGUS DESTH MURDER. Miasma used Resurrection Loci and everyone was bring back to life. Ya son. ms.maTh came back beciase she won't die now and she brought thel all back
inside and they went to the next period.
ChAPTer TWElve- Im gonna go ahead and skip 11 just ‘cus
Let's skip to launch because nothing happened at HisStory or Scienart. At the table they were talkeding aboot what happen. They don't know what happens but it was not cool because Google CHROME is illegal to build in the Satate of The One And Only Dinner Master 56 Where A Kid Can Be A Kid. Jeer said that his mother say that she was build a Google Chrome and she must have let it losse for some read son no but dad it is not fair I wanna go outside. Everyone got mad at Jeer and they made the schl get rid of him and they did and he was never seen again until I think it was either Book 2 or 3 where he changed his name to Some Guy
~...~
At his home house thing what? The Guy was playing games when he got a call from Honsi who told him to come to his house thing what?. So he GOT UP from watching the News more like the OLDS because THAT BROCAST EHAT FROM LIKE 6 DATES AGAO. Football Dinner Dot com. When he got totootoalaaooooaoapqpqpqp Honsi's hose, he saw that Wes and Biy and Miasma and Bill Nye the Science Guy were there. Ha ha I lied about Bill Nye. ウェンディ. You know, I though I TURNED OFF THE JAPANESE KEYBOARD LAST WEEK!
So when he went into their house he saw that they were looking at a screen that showed that what has what has that are what am I doing how come this is not real my tougnge hurts. He saw that they were blah blah blah it has a records of all the bad crap that <Little Girl> Jill has done before. But she is like 7 years old how the crap she so this. Why is SHE NOT IN JAILURE OR SOMETHING?! Miasjwsma what? Said "We seem to notice that You're Friend is gone and it is beciase of <Little Girl> Jill." she said. Wow now with MORE VITAMIN-D AND VIBTAMIN B-12 OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Chaptr thing Thirteeeee14- Window Washing
Before we start, why did my computer just randomly turn on?
Whatever. So LAST TIME ON DRAGON BALL C, THE GUY WENT TO HONSI'S HOUSE AND THRY GOT SOME CRAP DONE AND BY "CRAP" I MEAN "NOTHIG" BECOAUSE NOTHING HAPPNED ALTLE!!! So Honsi told The Guy that "We want to halp him width the thing that ails him". You know because Gatorade + Doritos = My doctor told me not to save the last pills at vanilla wafer. Stop going off topic you fish! Honsi said: "The stupid <Little Girl> Jill has your friend's thing rrow e or what ever and he needs it or else he will probley die of not moving." The Guy didn't know what to sat bec it was strange @ the fact that they were helpting him with.
This. Biy took out a bug from his west pocket and it died because bugs suck. "oh Apple sauce he said" he said. And then Wes was sent into the hall for pounding his FIST on the desk because he was playing Super Dingus Fighting with Misama and he lost because that's just how it is. Biy showed the Guy the screen in full depth detail. You know, the screen that had the information on it about <Little Girl> Jill and how she did a lot of bad EVIL stuff even though she is 7 years old? Yeah that. Biy said "This says that <Little Girl> Jill likes to steal and take things and rob people and steel and sometimes she destroys planets." The Guy stopped him showap waalalala and asked "OK SO WHAT THE HECK MONKEY TREE THE SQUARE ROOT OF 66384 IS SHE DOING HERE?" Honsi answered, "She wants to DESTROY THIS WORLD and probably steal all the food as well but that makes no $ because of you destroty the worlde there would not be any fosa left." Th Guy wondered whey she would take the flippin' DDDM, and Miasma said "The DDDM can be used as a HgaGggggggaW so that it breaks everything it touches and when it toucheds the world it is is is is is is is is is is is WOOODY!!" And then Woody appeared and he snake in his boot. Then he died because he is a toy. The Guy died .
No I typed "The Guy said" but Auto-Correct is a thing. The Guy said "Lemme get this straight but not really because no human can draw a straight line, <Little Girl> Jill is going to detory the world using The Other Guy's DDDM as a HgaGggggggaW to destir the world because a HgaGggggggaW can do that?"
Yeah.
"oh ok" The Guy said. Wes was allowed back into the room. Wes said," You know, I just know she will kill us all. Impetigo will kil us as well. There's no hope." No one said anything though because. Wes then count inuted,"She'll kill us and I know it. We can't stop her. I don't care if the protagonist is supposed to win in this kind of book, but no it's not gonna happen. Two steps foreword, 90 steps backward." Wes was sent into the hall for being a pessimist because pessimism is a bad thing for somereason, and people can't think the way they want to. Miasma came back from telling off Wes and then said to "Ok well we should all go to bed because schol is tormorto and we have prepare <Little Girl> Jill not die probably." So they all went to their houses. Stuff happened in the next chapter.
ChAPt |4- Some Name That Has Nothing To Do With The Contents Of The Chapter
At schow the next day on WedhessDate, it was Study time Perios, cat pee and beer. THE Guy was working on some stupid obligatory essay about essays that ms.Letter gave the class. He suddenly saw <Little Girl> Jill get up and leave the class WITHIUT ASKING WHAT THE HECK HOW COME SHE CAN DO THAT, I DID THAT YESTERDAY AND I GOT A DETERGENT!! I mean detention. The Guy and Honsi got up and ask if they could go to the bat her room (what?) and Mr.Bax SAId "yee" and they went actually to follow <Little Girl> Jill. Wait why did Mr.Bax let them both go to the bathroomwaterclosetrestroomTheToilet? You know what never mind I'm not gonna question my own logic. They followeddd 'er to some room on the South side of the shcpol. She went in and the door lockseed. "eh". I don't know which of them said that but it was said. They looked behind them to see that Zaxod was walking around somewhere for no reason. The Guy. Yellt at him "Hey Zax can you come 'ere a sec my GOod chap sir mate person." He ran like 60 m/hr to the both of them as they were 3 feet away from him. I don't know exactly how lg 3ft is. Zax stopped at them and asked what the wnted. Bagel. Holy god" said Honsi and he told Zaxond what they needed which was to opeddn he door. Zaxod thought for an 5 hours and then he decided that he should use Fire 3 on the lock, but that would utterly dearth the school. So he decided he'd use Waterfall but THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING, BUT NOT NOW, so he decided he'd use his lock picking, but he needed level 100 Lockpicking, and he only had like level 14 Lockpicking, so he decided he'd use Dark Spear Raid. Yeah there you go, way to use the pro suss of Elim in nation. So he used Dark Spear Raid, MAKING SURE THE GUY AND HONSI WERE NOT IN THE SKILL RADIUS and the door blew in and they found a sec rate hall way thing that I'm sure they used to send Wes into. So the two 2 to too tooth thanked Zaxod and he went back to where ever he came from because he wasn't at Studqy prdiodt. The Guy and Honsi went into the flipping dark hallway thing and they say that nothing was there but more dark crap. It was dark and they couldn't see in front of them. Blue. After abou t 7 minutes they saw a faint light that was not orange or green or purple or blue or tan or chartreuse or olive or some shade of red, but it was the colour 7. As they got closer they noticed that the colour brightness thing was geting more intense. Well crap. They enededeeeededed up in a room that had comps in it and lots of screens and ROB TRACY! Honsi asked "HOLY SHEEP DEM GRAPHICS!!!! HOW YOU GET IN HERE!?" And Rob TRACY said "Not really very easily." And then PC Pro came to life and it was not good so The Guy and Honsi has to fight Rob Tracy and The Shrek Guy and The Other PC Pro Dude. They fell out in one hit though because they are bad people and I hate them for making me waste hours of my life doing something that does not Benny fit me at all.after them they walkedted fur her into the Rom and they saw... TO BE COUTINUTED...in the next chapter.
CHAPTER 15- The OFF Topic CHAPTER
NO ha ha you have to wait this is the stupid chapter that I get to write. I don't understand something? How come this exists? What have I done to myself??????? I have no idea what made me do this but it is what has to be done exclet I Kinnda said I wouldn't write a 5th book. Why am I writing a 5th book..? Something is not right here. Also something is knot right also. It is because my friend BROKE THE AGLET ON MY SHOE AND THE WHOLE LACE CAME UNWOUND LIKE THE BOOK UNWIND, BUT THAT BOOK MADE ME SICK, THANKS ENGLISH TEACHER!!This is the Kinnda crap I can't do, GO ON STUPID RANST but I just did so never mind. What is the point of this chapter anyways? I wanted a break from the stupid plot which makes no sents or cents or sence or sense or ¢ or Cash Money Dollar$. Silkworms. I have some nohigns. What the heck dude can you not. No. No way man nope this is going too far but I can't retrieve it because it is too far to Halo Reach.
What is 1 + 1? It is:
according to Wikiped.
Ok I think this chapter is over goodbye all 0.00535 readers don't pull your eyes out, I tried that the other day and it kinnda hurt. Something or other...
CHAPTER SIXTeen- was a really stupid TV show why did they even make that?
So after sitting there waiting for me to finish having a flippin seziure over nothing, they looked further into the ding dang God dang stupid room. They found 4 people in the room. One was <Little Girl> Jill and the other 3 were peps we don't know yet at all never because. By never I mean now. Honsi spoke words from his mouth: " <Little Girl> Jill!!! Who are these peopekepeodoeoeooepeprorpekepeoeooeoeeoeoeoeorororororororororeorooro8?" She stared at him for 8 minutes...
...
......
.......
.........
........................
"What is this" said The Guy.
.................
...................................................
Congratulation! Your Egg has hatched into a Something.
"???" Said The Guy. "Honsi what is your problem?"
"AFK" he said.
"Wow that's just nice..." Said The Guy and then he t4724ned to <Little Girl> Jill.
"Who are these peoplea?" He asked
She pointed to one and said this is Arpkre
Arpkre did anything
She pointed to another and said this is Sihrc
Sihrc also as well did anything
She pointed to the last one and said this is Saica
Saica , as you guesses, did anything
Oh and there was a 4th one too. I was too sutupid and forgot some how, but she pointed to him and said this is Ttam.
Guess what? Ttam did anything.
And also being , sorry, there was a 5th one too and I was also too stoop tio remem. But she is pointed to heim and seadithis is Saiel
Ill let you guess what I’d say here.
She said --
WHAT SHE WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'm talking aaBOUT THE ONLY GIRL IN THE ROOM YOU DINGUS. Of all the STUPID crap in this story thing THATS THE QUESTION YOU ASK?
Anyway, she said "they have help me make the plan that will are is have being the end of this worl."
"Well crap"
No we can't have this now can we. Well no boning bad is happen yet because she said she won't destro anything until the end of the week on SatherDate. She countinue: "They help with the proghammming wid the thing that what DDDM that makes things die it has water and base cake the not when more rocks are not in the 55th centre."
"Oh no not that WHAT?! NOOO!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NO NO WHAT YOU CANT DO THAT WHAT IS THR POINTE OF THIS DECISION THAT YOU MAKED!?" said Honsi because he isn't AFK anymore, but after he said that he went AFK again.
<Little Girl> Jill said "I hate this world because it is fill with nothing but Dinguses and...Dinguses with nothing to do BuT MAKE StupiD SENTenCES THat mAKE NO SENT DOLLARS!"
"But that made no sence as well why don't you destrot yourself?" Said The Guy. That was not a good thing to ask because this is school and you can't make references to ending oneself because that is basically what he just said to her. Now here, the Pekple Who Come After People Who Make References To Ending Oneself In School would have came in and taken The Guy to Jaliure, but the PWCAPEMRTEOIS couldn't find where he was so they gave up after 3 seconds which is a new record. SO THEn <Little Girl> Jill whispered something in Sihrc's ear, and he nodded to her, and then he presses a big ORANGE button. No not a RED button, but a ORANGE One. All of a sud, the floor broke up and Honsi and The Guy fell through and they appeared in the hallway before the door before the other dark hallway before the room wid the comps and stuff. They looked at each other like nothing happened (because nothing did happ, this whole chapter could have been skipped) and went back to Studsury perdoit. Mr.Bax yelled at them for being gone at the batheroom for 7 minutes even though that part where 8 minutes passes but I don't understand time sometimes so never mind. What the heck just happened are you serious who the heck makes a--
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN- The part where crap goes down
{Welcome to Station Square- Sonic Adventure}
After school on TharsDate, The Guy and Honsi and Miasma and Wes and Biy and Zar and Zaxod were walking in the city. Zaxod then realised that there were too many characters to keep track of, but that was ok because he had a list of them written in his pocket on a piec of pape. Honsi and Biy were talking aboot some game calt The Advent OF The One Person Who Does Things for whatever, and Wes and The Guy were talking about cats and how stupid they are because all they do is sit around in the house and be fat and eat all threr food and "mew" alot and PUSH GLASSES OF WATER OVER ON YOUR IPOD OR GAME SYSTEM OF SOME SORT. And Zar and Miasma were talking about "girl stuff" or something. That is what they said when Zaxod asked them what they were talking about. "blah blah blah- some non relevant information- dingus dingus water the plants THE DOOR IS RINGING." was their exat wording. The Guy was about to ask Wes about killing every cat in existence when they all saw a large thing in the sky. It was ORANGE and something else.
{Battle Theme- Final Fantasy X}
The ORANGE thing dropped some Attacking Creatures on the city. There were Kselids and Starcrabs and Sasquacks and Dragonbound Assassins and Luska and Lesser Goblin Warriors and Ancient Cubes and a Marlboro and Octorocks and Dry Bones and Birds...BIRDS!! And also some Monoeyes and a Wollywog and some a Gyrados. That's a lot of enememeies. Oh it also dropped some dank memes, but those aren't bad. Why did it drilop them then?
All the characters except Lloyd who I left out accedenlty (and I don't feel like putting him in right now) have to fight off all the monstars.
The Guy took on the Monoeyes which were easy because all he had to do was use the Mirrored Shield buff and all their shots were reflected back at them. And thely all died from it. Yeah all 6 that the thing shot out. Wes decided he'd fihg the Kselids and Starcabs which were also easy because they are like level 25 -30 enemies who stop appearing at , like, the last area of the first section of the game. Wes took them out with his Staff and also his Mace and Shield he had to use when he was low on HEALTH.
Miasma fought the Sasquacks. Stupid little Bipedial Duck-playtPus things that are stupid I hate them but they were easy as well because of her flippin' Wand with the attacks of Magic that murder everything.
Honsi and Zar were stopped in their tracks when they tried to help Miasma buy the stupid Dragonbound Assassins. They were a bit hard to kill because they appeared in the part of the game when everything gets stupid and they're are GOD DANG GIANT CRAB/TURTLE/SHELLFISH THINGS WALKING AROUND A MILDY POPULAR AREA. AND BY GIANT I MEAN BIG AS A HOUSE!!!!!¡1!!!one!!! However, they were easy to get rid of bec/ Zar had a Godstone in her weapon that activates with a 80% chance that does 11,000 Damage and Honsi had the Mandomeo with powers of death on.
Oh crap here come the Lesser Goblin Warrors and the Ancient Cubes. Before anything, the Cubes shot lasers from their middle, witch hit Biy and Zaxod. Lucky though Zax has like 10,834 EVA and Biy can take projectiles and put them in has backpack. Biy told Zax to approach the Cubes and aggro them, while he prepared the laser to throw back. This would have gone well IF NOT FOR THE STUPID GOBLINS. FREAAKING GOBLYN WAS THRRE EVEN THOUGH HE IS AN ALLY, AND HE WAS MESSING UP ZAX. Biy tried to throw the laser back, but it missed the Cubes. But howeverdinnerkillfootball, it hit the Goblins AND GOBLYN AS WELL!! No not Goblyn he was cool!!! Zax hit the Cubes with his Weapon Sword That Can Hurt Things and they didn't die or anything BECAUSE THEY ARE CUBES. Biy hit them with his Steel Ball Thing That He Has For Whatever Reason, AND THIS TIME HE HAS ENOUGH STR to DO so. It was a Crit and they fell apart.
Oh no the Octorocks. Easy as pie Wes blocked their rocks with his Shield and they dies.
Dry Bones was hard to kill a bit because he cannot die. So Honsi had to use Mondeamo Light to shine 828384w of light on them wich killed the one singular Dry Bones.
Biy shot the birds down with his SlingShot.
Miasma was stopped by Luska the Dog. He is cool I like Luska because he has an Axe that he throws. Although he is marked as a Melee type character. Luska is affiliated with the Water Element, so Nature element attacks will do 150% more damage to him, BUT MIASMA HAS LIKE +50% ATTRIBUTE ATTACK MEDALS ON HER WEAPON SO LIKE ONE ATTACK FROM IT DID A LIT OF DAMAGE TO HIM AND he fell out and disintegrated! No not Luska to0. Why I put my favourite characters here?
So Wes tried to kill the Wollywog, but just punching it won't do anygood, so Honsi got some Pikmin from wherever, and threw them at the WOLLYWOOOG!!!!!!! Lukly they were Purple Pikmins so it was all ok.
Now here is the Gyrados. Now Miasma tried to KO it but YOU CANT DO THAT IT IS A POKÉMON!!¡1/$" So then Zaxod sent out his Magnezone and had it use Volt Switch and it WOULD HAVE KOd the Gyrados, BUT IT WAS HOLDIN A FOUCUS SASH AND IT HELD ON WITH 1HP AND THEN IT USED SURF AND IT WIPED OUT EVERYTHING, even the Morlboro, which would have messed things up really bad so I'm happy it's gaon.
{shut the music off}
CHAPTER ATEEN- The Time is Probably not now
So that flood.. Yeah man. Everyone got washe up and flow to somewhere I don't know. All I know it was not the City. No I think it was the ding dang oh my god it is a bee what is that there for schowl Stockholm Syndrome. Lemme say that again, the y were washed up and they need up back at the school. It was a bit late so they all decided that they would deal with the destroied town City thing or whatever I called it a few run-on sentences AGAO. And don't get the 4-pack, the 4-pack's a joke! Why would granpa put his Shoes in the fridge.?
Oh no it is FryfromFuturamaDate, and the all the people friends and also Lloyd who I left out last time is there and they get to have to help the build the city thing or maybe. It was boring Sosa I won't show it here. After they all fixeded the town, which toolk like 5 hours because the town is only 2,837 Sq Mi but I don't know how long that is so never mind, they all had to leave the town because they have to prepare for the attack of <Little Girl> Jill tomorrow. As they wereed walkeding they saw a man person and his nam was Reic and he was walking so where but he wasn't having 3 legs but actually having 82 legs and he drank loots of Gatoratde which is unhealthy. He said to them all "I know that we are all gonna die the domeorori and if josh risk everything SMOKE (the) DEED EVERYDAY t it AOE meyour mother TENATIOUS D to Diego just do it." He took out a Ravioli and threw it across the ocean and it died. It all died the ocean died and the fish died and the planet died and everyone died the end of the book. No not really.
No none of that stiff happened. No instead he t took the ravioli and ate it because he wanted the formuoli. And then spogebob and plankton came in and they sued me for making that reference. So then The Guy took out a 00394mm Rocket launcher and shootededtedeteTed Reic out to the space and out the the book because I do what I want (but not really). Lloyd looked down and noticed that the add fodnt changed again. Why did this happen I don’t like it when the don’t didfkrfk fm kd2409345308562345klsa fof\ I hate the letter 492. WALKTEDING. After see Reic they count tin youed doen the street, and everoybody that you meat has an original pointe of view and I say hay. They came to a cross raods. They all wentto to tof tftoa the other doeceottions that they had to go which was the way that they had to go which was the way that was the part of the book where I type like and idiot and then they all went home and then they wentd home hokm hom hom homh Mother333333333 te game is not ok THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A.
CAHP7R NEINTEEN – 1123 x 10 ^ -56
Ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
This time at The Guy’s house, he was playing 5Days @ Jimmy’s. Hw was a bout to win when he lost beccase Alvin and the Chipmonks. It was 6:3113 o’the;clock at night when he saw the sky being the colour #456543. Oh crap that is nmot a good clolour even though I don’t colknow what olewosr that is. So hw went outside and he saw that fffffffff <Little Girl> Jill was beiung stupid again/. The Guy calledeted out to her “No watt you doin” ans she say “ No your bus in ness you dingus dot com.” And she flew off fastly and was at the speed @ sound. Fire is good. PONTIFEX. The Guy Watched AS <Little Girl> Jill flew off into the non-existant distance. Oh snap he remem that is was SatHerDate and that was the Date that <Little Girl> Jill was gonna detory te world and he just saw <Little Girl> Jill and he neest the guys to voem stop <Little Girl> Jill oir else <Little Girl> Jill will use her <Little Girl> Jill powers to destuct the w becuas that’s what <Little Girl> Jill wants to do. The Guy used his diePhone6sss to call his fiends I mean friends to come and healp him out or maybe even in/. 9 secodn dolar cat moneky dinner the JOHN CENA later, they all were there and they hasd their weps equipped and everything. Also some top-tier Armour THAT I CANT GET BECAUSE NONE OF THE ENEMIES WANT TO DROP THE RECIPIES FOR THE ARMOUR. HOW DID THEY GET IT THEYU MUST HAVE USED PARA HAX.
Whatever. So now the time is now that nw is be the time that at the time has being that now the time time time. Thye mush fightg <Little Girl> Jill now. You know what, im just gonna call <Little Girl> Jill “Kag” because styping <Little Girl> Jill is rather annoying. Yeah so basically they had to go and get Kag killed now (Remember that Kag is what I call <Little Girl> Jill). Afteree they got all their equp ready, they left out the house but otonot reall because they were going WEST, and WEST is to the left. SHOP US LAST! SHOP US LAST! SHOP US LAST! SHOP US LAST!...you know maybe I should shut the television off while I type these…whatever. Hey yeah so abou finding Kag. All The Guy knew was that she flew off into the non-existnatt oh distance. Which die wreck shun whs that? I dunno bec this is a book and I cannot sea witch direier dude come on. Zax guessed that she went towards the SOUTH so instead if going WEST THEy went SOUTH. Afte about 43 mintes of boaring walking, thye saw a cratttttor. This was a fairly bad thing because asa aaaaaaaa a crator ususualy meant that someone summoned a metottor from spac and usd it to mess some people up. Boom headshot. Zar looked at the crater and saw that some nthing was in it which meant nothing at all. What a waste of words. “Do yu thnk Kag did that?” ask The Guy. No one knew because if they did they would not be standt god dandadandnadnandadnadnadnnad. Wondering what it is. Whatever. Hey , let's end the chapter!
CAppppppppp 18? – This was typed, like, 3 monts ater that last chapter
OH MY GOD I HATE TYPING THIS ON COMPUTER.
Zaxod was rendered catatonic because of something that I removededd from this version of the story and he colud not move for a lititle bit. So hthey left him
So they left hi bkeac where he stan and they went on. On the way still be forward they stopped at theeee shop a that wast t tther for somec reaco. No one but Zaxod had any money but they left him in the catatonic state and he still has not came come (I don’t flippin’ know the correct tense to use thereerw) out of it. Howeer they did have ueqam to sell. They all sold their uslesess items and armour or weaps or something to the shopkeep because shopkeeps in these game have like infinity amount of dollars cash money simoleans. And they got like 3,456,543;@;/£ worth of potions and revives and status curing items and whatnot. They also bought a “Catatonic Status Potion” for Zaxod and they had Miasma run all 453 miles/metres/leagues to get him. That took about 13 seconds because any longer and someone might have thrown a fit and threw themselves aj4j2jj2j out the window.Whoa whoa whao whao whao whaowa what? Why? Ok here comes ZAx and Miaaiazma, but some one is BEHinD Them oh sNAp it is nobody. Nobody shot lasers and it knocked ever one out. “I drink pee straight outta th bottle.” Nobody said aftf he kilt every.
6 min secs after their death, I think something happened...it has to had been some antoerh thing that I removed from this verisom of the story. oops. Everyone camed back to life and basically the last 4 sentences didn't t happen.
Chapppp19pppppppp
Ok well rhwy got up from deahs but they lost 50% of their items and 70% ther mon dollax. They shrugged off the Soul Sickness after dying, and continued on their wai towards the…SOUTH…right? Yeah I think. 90 minue sec hours into the walk, Honisisisisisa3r242342342 asked Zaxod “Introductie van de geheel nieuwe rakethelikopter van Jak's Pacific?”. That was nota good ide bcuase that rendered Zax catatonic again, and they had lost their “Catatonic Status Potions” when they diedid. Well now he is gonna have to just sit tere anda god dang it this text is horrible.They left Zaxod behind and contin foreward and reache a cavenre. The cave was really ominous and scary and other words that mean “horrible”. So they all stood at the cave enternce and stared at it for a long time. After some tiem pass, Zar said “shoul we go in?” ans no one answere because they didn’t want to and they can dew what thyr want to dew because thye drink MTN DEW like good boys and gilds. After more unbareable seconds, Misasmasaersomething let out a banshee scheirek and It scaed the crape out of everyone into walk/running/ambulating into the cavrene.
Zxaod was still catatonic. How doefa ncoe un-cataton oncelf? ZZQQW thought he would be stuck foevr but he rember that he cad cast spells, and catatonic-ness does not forbadedead spells. So he caST ^^Uncataton on himself, and e was ab to maveagain like a real human being with real mixed feelins hello hello hello. So tneh he move @@@ 74m/s/s/s/s/s/s/s/s/s/s/s in sthe same dierecet that.
20 retpahC
The group went into the cave. They am sucpsect that Kag is in there and that the is have the get her are the being killed because she is a bad person and she is going to kill everyone else and so I guess I leded abut this being a “paCIFsit” run, no we are gonna doa “Neutra” run and only get her kilt and no one elsts because she Is bad and I alreadyd sayd that but I am a brodken record so ha ha funny joke.
Biy: Look over here, I think I found a thg.
Honsi: No you didn’t, put it down.
Zar: No, let’sr2 see wh4t it are.
Zar takes the thg from Biy…. It falsh, like, 453 different colours, even ones no one has evr see befre. Then he thig started speking.
The thngi: If you fo not put me donw, I will prpbably blow up and destroy each and everyone of your hous.
Everyone: (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Thng: Hello I am a thngsssfiemagij I will not killedyou haha that was funny joke. Ha ha.
Wes: No, only I maek ha ha funny joke you shot your mothu up.
Tinkg: Wes go to the nurse, you nead the helps
Wes leaves and finds the nurdses office which was luckly 4 meres next to the cavere.
Thnksg: What are you in here 5?
Miasama: We are heeree to find and get kilt the stupid Kag who was once callle <Little Girl> Jill, but the author go5t tired t67ping her name over and over and over and over again.
The thngk thingus ding dong thing THE THING sat stil for a logn tiem.
Thngn: (with slight shock) Yo-----yo wan kill KAg?(Normal) ….fine, Ill Pb you two h..e…..r…………
The thnfss shatters… but the342n reformes into the froeme of nother hunmanz. As they waled down fast as be when the down the cavererne, he told them hiz na was Blaze, ant dat he was wan get kill KAG as welllllllwl. Half wia down th cavern they heer feetsteepe:
Blaze: Who the flip-dngus is that????
Miasam: Oh I thilnk that’s Za--
Blaze quickly whips out a Lightning Inquisitor’s Pisotl, and blasts energy at Zaxdos.
Zaxodoooo: Oh ok (falls out adn dies).
*21*
-50% in he cavere-
Oh snap Balze just shut Zaxdos in the faec wiff his weap. Miasmaa yell “DUDDE WHAT YOU’RE PROBLEME IS?” and bLAze say “ Oh shisp in the toilet, Im sorr.” But sory doesn’t Cut itt this time, buster. All f a sudd, WESSS WALKS INOUTTA NO WHERE do-do-do-dooooo. Do-do-do-dooooo!!!! And he spiked Blaze by using (Aerial Down + B) on him, but he mssed the sweet-spot and it only really very easily did 999% damage with the knockback ratio up to x5. Balzees went so fast he clipped throusg the cave wall and blew up. Yay that was fun. And then Biy took out a tree and chopped it down and 4 it aaaaaaa hitt Wes and he took actualy 5000% damage and Honspee went ahead and turned the dmgae ratio up to x90 and that was the end of Wes. They killed Wes even thugouh he save them feom Blaze but it was just becaue its fun to kill Wes. Oh wait no he had 3 more lives so its OK. Wow, way to mislea d the audacity. So balze is die and they now just killed thrie only lead into the rest of the cae witch actual is only just a straight bath, so why did they nead a guide? Also Zaxod is dead too, but they don’t really care because he can brought his own self front to live being well alive (well, he doesn’t, he is dead forever.) With The Guy at the lead, he and the rect of the group went donw the cave futher.
-90% into th cacacacacacacaca-
On no there is not that far, ennit? No shut up Drippy, this is not your game, you crybaby Bunting. ANYWAAYAY, they are not have be far from thened of the cave. They know this because:
1: I just said 90% in the cave and
- 2: Hhosni threw a mass pike at the cave and it made the sound “aggrandizement” and that means that youa re not that far from the desk-tin-ation, which this is a tack-tick that people ue but ony when it is 6:54PM and the hills aren’t singing with the sound of music becase hills can sing now. The Guy looked anD HE CoulD SEE THAT The BOSS BefORE THE BosS WAS APPEARERA. It RISE OUT THE GRUGUDE AND IT WAS A Beritra Walker Mk.2. well crap. Thehe first thing to was have34 THE GUY arRGO The Walker to faEC the tother dearection. Then everyone elc could attack it safly from behide. AMERICAN MADE, QUALITY CRAFTSMANSHIP/ OH SNAP. What the hull of a ship? Oh snap weight, the Walker used “Shoot Front Cannon” on THE GUY. He got hit und it hit him. He got hit. He was hit. He took damage. He has been hit. His hitbox collided with the laser and it deducted a number from his current HP. Luck he was Not DEAD THOugh because he had lotta not-die-ability. The Walker was about 20% dead When it GOT FLIPPIN’ HEALED BY A Greater Goblin Healer WHICH SPAMS THE CRAP OUT OF HEAL but it only heal to 55%. Oh carp that’s a lot. Dang it. Miasma” I AM HAVE ‘NOUGH” and her take out her Even More Powerful Bow that Has a Lot of Power and It Kills Things. It took her like 45 secnods to charge the BOW but wheN she released the attack it made lot a lot a lot a lot lot lot lot lto of noise and flashing and Porygon used Psybeam. The attack it the Walker but it missed because that is just how it is. Miamsmav said “What the flip you know what im done that is not faire I freaking hit that thing right in the face did you see that that was stuid I hit it and it ‘missed’ are you kdding me this is why we can’t have nice things I like tennis I cant even.” The guy sais “scew it” and used his Chair Blaseter and it shot out 53 chairs and 500 houses and 500 mouses and it wrecked up the Walker and it hit the Walker and theWalker fell down and made lot of machinenen noise and fell something why does this sentence not hava pause. This is how you spell diarrhea. Text text text filler text so that Word goes to the next page blah blah blah oh my god.
Chap-dingus 22: NYEH-HEE-HE-HEEE-HEH-EEE-HEEE-HEEE-HEE-HEEEEE…
Liver cancer is not a joke.
After killing the Walker, they looted it beut it sucked because it only dropped level 40 gear and they were max level. So it was upsetting. Sorry dad :((((((((((((((((. What? On not I got in my garage here and I have got me new lamboginiiiiiiiiiiiii. No shut up. So thEY went onwardses to get find the character who’s name I forgortm becuaes this is like 4 days since I last tped this. Oh it’s Kag, ha ha funny joke ha ha ha. I think thye walked like 4 more minutere or something and then they found a thing a thingy thing thing with Windows XD 98 Cortana. The Guy ask Cortana “Cortana, how far is it to Kag” and Cortana didn’t answer because Corta is stupid. No jk jk Im jk, no Cortana said back “ I dunno, but here are 6 fast food restaurant in your area.” The Guy threw a cave at CoRTana and it blew up into negative seventy-nine Pisces. Oh no look, right afert Cornana, was Kag. Oh CRAP THAt was too soon, oops. Kag say “NO You destried my Cortana!!!”. Then she wnent bercerk and fired many missles. Everyone dogged them, though, because missles suck. Then she shot some lasers. They all missed too bercause lasers suck. Then she shot RJ-45 cables at them, but they missed because this isn’t PC Pro, and we don’t talk about RJ-45 Cables. Kag threw about 1/28 of a fit, and switched gravity upside-down to disorient the group. However they all played Super Mario Galaxy 3, And they knew what they were do. Kag threw an actual ½ fit, and she crushed the cave walls in. However, she is not strong enugh to do that so it didn’t really work out that well and also rutabaga have 6 lives. Kag now is throwing a whole fit, and blasted everyon with an unavoidable attack. Everyone got hit, but then Cortanan came back and it defelct the attck back at her and it did the hurting to her as well. As everyone is on the floor at Critical Health, nothing important happened, so I can skip this piece of dialoge, right>? No, sorry you cannot. Aw craasp. No, then
<Insert long list of people eere>
came out from the Heavens That Don’t Really Exist and showered them all in Life Rain. (What the heck is). Then they all spammed this:
“Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!Look! Another part of the story I have to change due to things!”
which made me upset because (1) that took up most of a page and (2) don’t say that over and over like that. That’s how you ruin cheese for people. But ANY, the gropu came back to lifeu, and it were an happy tiem time timmy tim tim. Howveyre Kag was still on thE ground and maybe dying, I dunno. She had ‘nough STR to say “WwwWwWwwwwwwWWWW!!!!” and then flip out and then actualy tell me a story:
“I was walking back from school when I saw someone falloeing me and I ran from them, but they got closer so I ran faster and faster but I tripped and they got up to me and kicked me across the street like you’d do to a cat but less ‘the internet will kill you’-y. I went flying 4453 metres/millimetre and I found myself here, please do not kill me.”
Hozni said “We SHOuld kill her.” And The Guy said “No we should spare her” and Biy said “No we should kill her” and Miasia said “Coukld we spaer her?” and Wes (who I though was dead) said “No, kill her well done good” and Zar said “spARE her plz” and The Guy said “we are sparing her, so no one do anything rash.” So no one did anyth rash and they spared her. Kga got up from being 9/2 dead and said “(…………………………………………….)” which sounds like “Apple Apple Cider Cat the Cider is Cold Please Get a New One From the Home Despot”. I LISten to that song everyday and it is like 9 minutes long. Royal bake. Kag began to fly and clipped through the cave wall and was never seen again because I don’t she’s gone and the conflict is over so ill just take her out of the stor-e. She flew back to her ppplanet and was happy there becase all she did was make random stories and tell people aout “being a demon and somehow an angel at the same time” because that makes every sense.
Yo dawg, I heard you liked the last chapter, so here is the last chapter
“One finds fortitude as apple can water the Nutella.” ~no one ever
After Kag left, Zar decided it would be a good idea to tell everyone she has powers to teleport , so after all they did no need to walk all that way to fin Kag so what a waster of time ZAR YOU DINGUS. Butte be(movie)for they left, they has founded they actuale the Ding Ding Dinner Macine was sit right there where they has get rutabea. The Guy picked it. Up. What what the what what. Oh nsape, how did he did that he the DDDM is like weighs 905 tonnes, which is I do not know. Yes. PpPpPpPpPpPpPpPpPpPpPp. And so tnen he threw it out of the cave ansd it also rn. RN. It clipped through the wall because I used ;noclip me. The Dinner Macin flew ALL THE WAY to The Other Guy’s house, who in which he was being there for like a very long time. The ehing nocliped through huis roof and hit the floor and it was amaze. Luck he was no in the path of the Machine or wlsle he would have defenestrated a bagel from his 9th story house. He turned it on and he colous move again yaYA. Then theeleye Biy took out his FANCY PEN and drew a James and the giant peach and nothing significant happened because that book sucks. To lighten the moode, Honsi decided he tell a pun joke ha ha funny.
“What bird lets the air in? Air ducts”
No no no ok no no no Honsi gets to stay in the cave forever because he told that pun joke ha ha very funny. After everyone teleport back home, even afer I said Honsi stays back, they found that everything was good and wonderful and nice and good and estactic and coquettish and fickle and also a bit asunder. The schole iis over and no more school for life because this is a Utopia and no one goes to school for ever like in the wreal world.
“Somet tiems a life is borne but sometimes a life will die but some in between the liefes and deaf there is…….. living. “
I took that dfrom the a Jerrys Jacksososns r8 gr8 viode. It is nice a nice quote to 2 use for this part of the the story that is nice bcuase everonje is hap now.
At the end of the day being of which is was are preposition or a verb Sunday, all the fridenes got gether a gain and did actul go their sperete ways. Honsi went to the Aunar Kidgonm to fight the envil and get equipment that is oP as dog. Biy wenty to liove with then anminalas and do weird stuff that involve the animal that are can talk the humanas languageses. Zar went to go do some stuff related to apples in the other Plantet call Xerbe. Zaxod is dead still. Wes went to learn how to write the programme for the computrons that ware fun and make games too as well tahoe. Miasma decided to she should probably go to the Aunrar Kidgonm as well because that is wehere she beglon and was niot supposed to be ere. The Guy and The Other Guy stayed here and they lived life and also were in the last 4 books which anywasys this was the pre quil to the books stories because I said so in the first sentence I think. All was wlell everyone was not really haooy because happpyness is a lie and so is love and hope and faith and humans and anything elstes but this is not the time to be a sad-sour-puss-cry-baby-Bunting like Drippy would say but I told him to get out and he is not here anymore and I wish everyone be happy and this is the end of the book so I had to leave it out with a bang if you know what I mean and by “bang” I mean I had some C4 hidden in the basement that I set off and it was wonderful, except I killed a bunch of people when I did it so yay
the end
The 4-pack’s a joke!